I'd Never Let My Girl Fall
by puckishrxgue
Summary: Shaundi and The Boss have been fighting back and forth towards the idea of liking each other, but after one night together, things change forever. Are they capable of being together, or are they just doomed? [ SR3/SR4 MOMENTS ]
1. One Tough Battle

The Boss's hand curled around the sniper that was so close to being glued to his hand, getting sweaty by the number. He wanted to shoot those motherfuckers that hung up those signs that stated that 'Shaundi is a whore'. He knows she isn't- Well slightly. She does have a T.V. that is something called 'Sleeping with Shaundi' or something close to thing. It makes him sick. It almost makes his stomach turn into knots. It surely makes him a jealous little bitch, his skin turning into this hot mess every time he looks at her. It's just that bad.

He just needs to play it cool as much as he can. He tries not to be an uptight little bitch as he is when he's alone. He even watch her damn show just to see her face. Her face was just sexy, and those boobs of hers were the cherry on top. He wasn't even paying attention when she waltz herself up to him, her body almost close to his, but she made sure it doesn't touch him because he can be a little bitch towards everyone when he's in his own personal space. He could care less if Shaundi comes to talk to him during that time, because yeah, he's pretty much in love with her but shush, it's a secret.

She was laying on her back, the Boss's eyes twitching back and forth to see what the hell she was doing. Her curl that hung on the side of her face, that fell right back down to her forehead made him anxious just to leave because that's how much he's in love with her. It was a complicated matter where he doesn't even know what to do for himself. Should he ignore her, or just carry on a conversation that resulted in embarrassing himself in front of a hot girl? Questions ran through his head like a wildfire. He bit inside of his cheek, still looking through the scope of the sniper, watching all those bitches coming in and out just to show that they have no respect for the Saints. They're better than any gang here. They have a cool color, and of course they have a cool boss that can do anything. Including He has a few tricks up his sleeve if anyone was going to go that far, but the last time he had was a love story with the girl he has feelings for.

He wanted that. More than He wanted a building in this damn city. He needed her to touch his lips like he's been waiting for. He just kept on waiting. And in this moment, he just didn't say anything. She was the first one to open her mouth. "You don't need to worry about those signs. They're just too stupid to know that we're keeping this city safe. Kind of." She was serious for a moment, then a soft laugh just left her lips, eyes always switching back and forth from the sunny sky, then to the boss. He felt her presence, it was a beautiful feeling to know that she cares to look at his face.

His face wasn't like other guys. It was a very handsome face, yes, but nothing close to Burt Reynolds or anyone like that. His hair was slicked back, sometimes it was messy in the mornings or so, but other than that, He gets why she doesn't want to be with him, or even have feelings. He's a jackass. He'll always be a jackass, and nothing will change that if he was going to be honest to himself. It's the way he is.

He signed softly, nodding his head up and down. "Even the ones that say you're a whore?" The knots in his stomach grew hard, and strong. Shaundi once again laughed, and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not dead yet, boss." She stated, now laying on her belly like he was. He still looked through the scope as her lips were too damn close to his arm. She smelled good. Like Strawberries but that was not the point of all this. Whoever knows the real point though, is the God in his world. "Not yet." He stuck his eyebrows out, putting down the sniper to the side, eyes now staring at hers. Her eyes were beautiful, just like her presence was just the definition of perfection. Then there she goes, she smiles. Like a sex goddess.

Close to one, as she says she isn't perfect because of her past life. She spoke briefly about it with me, but the way she talked about it, yeah she clearly wasn't perfect. He smiled, getting right back up from the ground as he held his hand out for her to get right back. She shook her head so softly, getting up by herself. He nodded my head, his body almost touching hers. He wanted to say something about his gangling feelings that's been bothering him for a while. He needed to, it was killing him inside and out but the way things were going, talking about little things that didn't even make sense to him. He knew falling for Shaundi was a bad idea, but the way she looks got him going crazy. He was crazy for her. There is something about her, it made his stomach turn and turn.

Sweat lingering down his back, cheeks heating up as much as it could. This is what loves feels like to him. He's never been in an actual situation where he's been in love with someone. Sadly, but not really a bad thing. Shaundi was the only girl that he felt like he could start a life with someone. She probably doesn't even have the same feelings, which makes him sick to his stomach, which was like always. Oh well. That's life, and he has to move on.

"Can I talk to you about something?" He asked, his upper teeth bit on his bottom lip. His heart pounding against his chest. Numbness just crawling through his body as much as it could, a small laughter left his lips in a beautiful accident. "Of course, boss." She replied back, eyes backing down to the floor, then right back to his. She smiled. That damn smile.

"We still have shit to do, but I can't stop thinking about the what ifs in my life. Like what if Johnny lives, or what if Killbane just fucking backs off, or even what if the fucking motherfuckers actually carry us out of Stillwater? Those might be fucked up what ifs, but I haven't really thought about the what ifs with us. I don't know why, but I want to talk about it." He stopped in his tracks, every word dropping out of his mouth was a little bit scary, even when Shaundi has a confusing look on her face which just gave him the right to walk away right now.

"Holy hell, Boss. I don't even know what you're talking about, but I guess we have this so called sexual tension. People say it, but I think we're all good." She was joking around. It was obvious to him. It seriously was the cutest thing he's ever witnessed. The Boss then captured her lips with his, swiftly curving their lips together. It felt like she was about to walk away, but she carried on the kiss.

He was weird. Well he is all the time, but right now, it was weird. He's a fuck up, but sadly, Shaundi liked him more than she should. She always liked him since the beginning of time. When the first time she saw his eyes just carry on with hers. He might know everything about her, except parts of her past, but other than that, he knew. The first time he really saved her was when Johnny found his fate, and she was pretty much falling out of the damn plane. The first time she remembered through that fall was his hand just grabbing her body, tightly so she wouldn't drop.

It made her realize that she's been in love with the boss since that time. She tried to be bitchy as always to him, which is good. He doesn't need to know that she liked him. Point taken, but the moment his lips reached hers, she fell right back to falling for him. It was the first time they've done this. This was weird, but in a good weird. It felt like heaven was upon them both. His lips were so soft, and surely, he knew how to kiss a badass girl like Shaundi.

Even though she wanted to pull away, just to try and see if he'd kiss her again, but she didn't pull away. Maybe he did have feelings for her Maybe he did. God, he does. The house right next to them was abounded, not really anyone would come so they had extra time to pull good stuff. They stopped kissing, a smile was upon them and Shaundi softly tugged her hand with his. Pulled him into the enormous house, going up the steps to reach the biggest room they could find. "Fuck me." She said so softly.

The Boss didn't realize that a kiss would lead to this hot mess. He never thought he'd see her body like this before. He only seen a glimpse of her boobs, and maybe a few seconds were passed at her ass, but who knew anything like this would happen. His lips connecting with hers, and just making our time just perfect. Just like her. They really didn't talk about their feelings, but the look of it, it seems like they both have feelings. It seems like a dream. A wonderful dream. Through the boss's whole life, he's been dealing with the nightmare, but right now, it felt right. His lips swiftly came to her neck, sucking on it softly. Hearing all the whimpers that resulted out of her mouth just made him want her more and more. The way she was kissing him though. It was like she actually had something there, and it clearly made him go crazy for whatever we're doing. Those words that spilled out of her mouth made him want her more and more. His hand fell down to the end of her shirt, throwing it off of her when he just stared her into those eyes that gets him going. He didn't realize they had so much unresolved feelings towards each other, it felt like they needed to do it sooner before it was too late. After officially her shirt was off, it didn't take him two seconds to rub her leather clothed thighs that resulted into making her moan just a tiny bit. It made him smirk just a tiny bit, kissing her lips once again, harder than the last time. After a few moments of just playing around, The Boss pushed her on the bed, his heart still beating against my chest. This moment was officially heaven.

That night changed everything. Even things between them.


	2. I Don't Want Love

_I Don't Want Love- The Antlers._

_You wanna climb up the stairs_  
_I wanna push you back down_  
_but i let you inside, so you can push me around_  
_if i leave before you, and i walk out alone_  
_keep your hands to yourself_  
_when you follow me home_

**I DONT WANT LOVE.**

* * *

The boss was wide awake, his hair all messy like it was supposed to be but he couldn't take the filling that this girl that is laying in his bed actually kissed him yesterday. It felt like some kind of dream almost, but it was real. Legit real. He's been in love with this girl since she's been this crazy girl that smoked shit out of a broken lightbulb. She may have been fucked up through most of the encounters but he just couldn't shake off the feeling that he belonged with her.

Every inch of his body was rooting for him to get with her, and now that he has, he feels like he made it. He made a decision to fall in love with her, but that would mean he'd have to talk to her about everything. He didn't even get a chance to talk to her about his feelings, only slightly, and if they are going to end up together, she'd have to cancel her show, which is based on sleeping with her. Getting her own partner in crime. He wanted to be that guy. He quietly got out of the bed, his lips pecking on the side of her cheek then got dressed in a suit before he walked himself out of the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't realize that Pierce was there, playing a usual game of chess with Oleo.

He raised his eyebrows, leaning his body against the railing of the upstairs so he could lurk down to see his two great friends. "I think I have an idea to get S.T.A.G out of our lives so we can be happy." He said, lighting a cigar on fire so he the taste could linger through his mouth as much as it could. Puffing out the smoke, a smile showed up on his face when Pierce grew a confusing face. "Yeah, I'm fucking right about this. How about we kill every last one of them? Destroying their line forever." He raised his eyebrows once more, throwing his hands in the air as much as he could. His smile slowly falling down as both of his close friends didn't agree with his idea. He shrugged softly, walking himself over to them, still having to puff that cigar.

Shaundi took her time getting up. Her hand was quickly placed on her face, trying to forget what they did together. She didn't mean for it to happen at all, and she wasn't even drunk. It still happened though. She didn't mean for anything like that to happen. Well, she does have feelings for the guy, but he was there, and she was still having weird nightmares of getting kidnapped by the S.T.A.G. It's weird for her, and yeah, he was there, and he felt great. She needed to continue on with her show, and just find that partner in crime. She got out of bed, stuffing all her clothes on, and walked downstairs. She didn't want to eye anyone right now. She needed to leave quickly and quietly just to finish her finale of her show, but of course, the boss was downstairs playing with his gun. His blonde hair was looking quite good, even how messy it looks in the morning. He always did, but Shaundi, fuck you need to remind yourself that he's not the one for you. It wouldn't be professional. Pierce though, eyed her like a hawk.

"Shaundi, you stayed over?" He questioned, keeping his eyes on Shaundi.

The Boss turned around, a straight face was shown. "Yeah, she did. She was drunk last night, so I thought it would be a good idea to give her the guest bedroom for the night. I know she has her own apartment and all, but she was drunk, so yeah. You can go home now." He nodded his head, turning his attention right back on the gun he was playing around with.

Shaundi closed her eyes, breathing in and out of her nose as her hand was a fist. "Pierce. Oleg. Please get the fuck out, because the boss and I have a few words to say to each other. Like seriously, fuck off."

Oleg and Pierce quickly got up the room, and walked outside, down to the garage.

"What's your problem, grumpy pants?" The boss asked, eyebrows raised.

"My problem? I don't have a problem, I don't know what the hell happened last night, okay? We were just talking, then boom, I kissed you. For no reason whatsoever. I do like you… but I have to continue on with my T.V. show, meaning I can't be with you. I hate to give you signs that made you think that I wanted to be with you, but that would be so unprofessional.

We're professional... Sometimes, but boss, we need to stay friends. I need to continue on being a whore people call me out to be, and I need to stop having sex. I need to find someone, who is on my show. Not you. I'm sorry." Shaundi quickly replied to the Boss, not trying to cry or whatever because that is definitely not her thing. She's not like that, anyway. She doesn't cry over a guy she really does like. Her lip was attached by her upper teeth now.

The Boss nodded, his heart falling down to the ground as much as it could. He didn't understand. He actually felt the connection, how could she not? It was out in the morning, pretty much. He felt it. He felt every inch of it, and he actually made things happen between them. He kissed her. He kissed her harder than he thought he'd kiss a girl. He didn't have sex with her. He basically made love to her, and it felt great. Now everything was fucked up in their own path. He sighed, kept his nodding game to a great start. "Whatever you want."

"That's all?" She asked, signing in relief. He didn't cry, that was a great start, or maybe he didn't really have feelings for her.

"Yeah, whatever. It was just a onetime thing." He didn't agree with anyone of this, but he just wants Shaundi to be happy in her life, after everything she's been through lately. She was trashed up, beaten down, and just felt like she wasn't capable to keep herself safe. He'll always be there to save her though. That's a good thing. "Just don't let those guys hurt you."

He didn't even look at her through that whole conversation, Shaundi could feel invisible blisters just stab her in the heart. She just thought it was the best idea to do since she didn't want to get involved in anything crazy with the boss. She knows everything about him pretty much. She's known him since she was a bitch that smoked pot through a broken lightbulb all day.

He helped her through a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Whenever she got kidnapped, there she was. Helping her. She just wished she could feel like it would be to date the boss in business. She breathed in and out slowly, keeping up with the uncommon nods coming from her. "Okay, thank you. I'll just go…"

Before she could finish, the boss opened his mouth once more. "I need a favor from you though. S.T.A.G. isn't going to stop until we make them stop. I was thinking… Maybe you're up to shooting some bastards in the head, hmm?" He chuckled, his eyes falling to the floor then right back at her. He was cute. He always had the cuteness in his life. Maybe that's another reason why Shaundi is slowly coming to the conclusion that she needs this man in her life.

His attention was now glued on Shaundi, waiting for her response. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to leave quickly and slowly, but the sound of blasting those motherfuckers in the head was another reason to quickly answer a beautiful yes. Then yeah, she nodded her head into a yes. "Let's go then." She smiled, again biting down on her lip.

* * *

The Boss followed Shaundi into the garage, amber hues slowly, and controllable looking back and forth to look at the side of her face, or even looking at the back to see her presence. He was sad she denied the fact that they had a chance together after last night, but it's really something to let go, if you think a little bit. He wants to make it up to her. Maybe they aren't meant to be, but the Boss is the Boss. He's not going to back down without a fight.

His body twisted into the car, getting all comfortable before the side of his eyes looked back and forth to see if she was okay. Maybe it was obvious that he was doing that, but whatever.

Shaundi held that gun close to her, trying not to say anything about him staring at her, which was odd, but a nice comfort to her. She's not very used to this weird, but lovely feeling that he'll do anything to keep her safe.

After a few seconds on the road, he quickly stopped the car. Shaundi was all confused, but the boss quickly breathed in and out, knowing what he is going to do. "Get out." He said, his hands hanging out for dear life to the stirring wheel, clutching his jaw to the side as much as he can. He knew she was different, and he knew he'd never let this girl travel in danger with him. What the hell was he thinking about asking her? He's not even drunk to know the fact he's too much in love with her, and he knew that she could get injured into a journey like this. He could of asked Oleg and Pierce for this, but he didn't.

"What the fuck are you talking about, boss? I want to—"She even didn't finish her sentence, he cut her off with a finger flinging up to catch her lips. "I know, I know. And I have no idea why I asked you, I should of kept it alone and went alone—"And this time it was Shaundi's turn to interrupted him.

"You're going to be killed." She said, noticing her voice was about to break, but she controlled her feelings as much as she could. Even if it was rising to the top right now, because of those damn feelings. Those damn fucking feelings were killing her inside and out, and the last thing she wanted was to make it obvious that she's in love with him.

"Get out." He replied, not letting the information just spill through his head. The last thing he wanted was her to be hurt in a way he would never forgive himself. Shaundi's eyes widened, pressing her lips together, her body finally getting out of the car.

He didn't even feel bad. Maybe a little, but at the same time, he did something great.

Now the boss was driving, Pierce in the front seat as Kinzie was rubbing all the information through his head from the blue tooth. He couldn't really multitask as much as he wanted to, but his mind was all for Shaundi. The way she looked this morning is just glued to the side of his brain where it's hard for him to wipe away the memories. He smiled every time he could remember a conversation between the two, but the worst part of everything is that maybe she's mad at him for him giving orders that she's not allowed to pop those bitches in the head. He couldn't let that happen, he just couldn't.

He still remembers the way she talked him into taking a break from everything, and then boom, the next she's cursing through the speakers of the phone where he's able to hear it clearly, and surely, he didn't feel comfortable hearing her voice through his ears, it went in, and it never came back out like it's supposed to. He's one of those guys that would put so much effort to keep his family safe, and if going through plastic surgery was the right thing to do, then he's able to do anything. And he means anything to keep his girl safe. He's just couldn't see a life without her, and he knew there was going to be a lot of those bastards running around the place they were going.

"Boss, you look like shit." Pierce joked, his hand playing around with the pistol he had in his hand.

The Boss nodded, laughing with him. "Yeah, but look at the bright side, I slept really well."

"I bet you did. Shaundi was in the next room, which makes you feel safe."

The Boss Ignored the obvious, rolling his eyes in return. "Just look for those bastards, bruh."

And immediately Kinzie replied to the so called conversation, "You do have a crush on her. The way you look at her just makes everything clear. You need to say something to her, or you'll forever regret it when she finally finishes her show, and then boom, she'll find her partner in crime."

The response made his body go in shock. He felt like his heart just fell to the ground, making his vision just disappear into the distance, he didn't have enough strength to hear the voices that were surrounded him, and from that, the car flipped over, then boom, reality flushed down everyone's lungs. Pierce was cussing a lot, it was pretty loud, but the Boss didn't say anything, even when he finally got out of the car. Glass was splattered everywhere, he may or may not have a few cuts sliced in his skin, small blood wounds started to run down his arms. Then of course the S.T.A.G was shooting them on sight.

The Boss stuck around the damaged car, "There goes the coolest car ever." He realized that thinking about Shaundi was a dangerous matter, and from that, he'll try to keep his cool. He got his gun out of his coat pocket that was stashed inside, then started to go back in cover, then tried shooting all the bastards in the head. One. Two. Three were finally down. Some still flooded towards him, all the machine guns were gushing at him. Pierce was on the other side of him, taking out as many as he can. Praise for him.

He quickly ran for the dumpster that was still standing, even after how many fire power there was trying to take down the Saints. His head was pounding, blooding rushing through his veins. The burning feeling of the open cuts when it turned to meet the wind made him want to scream, to make him weak. He was, and he didn't realize that one of the S.T.A.G guys found a way to get close to them, then POP. A bullet found a way to his shoulder, his body jerking back, eyes shutting closed because of the pain was something he never felt in a while. He didn't hear anything. He was numb, and static was following him whenever he heard screams, or even yells coming from both Pierce and Kinzie. They thought he was dead, since he wasn't responding. It sure felt like that, he wasn't in his place right now. It was burning. The pain was flowing through his body, he was trying not to cry because that's a sign of weakness.

He blanked out through most of it, and he didn't even realize that he was back at SAINTS HQ. He didn't really care anyway, he just laid on the kitchen table just letting the pain take over him. He felt like screaming. The blurriness coming back and forth as the time passed, his head spinning in every direction possible, and through all that, he saw Shaundi yelling at Pierce. He couldn't put his finger down what the fuck she was yelling about, but it seemed seriousness.

Maybe she's mad at him for something that wasn't really for him, or she's just pissed off at the world since that's her only emotion. Or maybe she's pissed off at the Boss for getting hurt. Maybe all of them. Who knows, but the Boss didn't take the time to care. He didn't want this. The pain was too much for him, anyway, so why should he care right about now. He just blanked out again, head hitting the table. "Fucking get him a doctor!" Shaundi yelled as she saw him fall right back down on the table.

Hours passed. The boss is wide awake, drinking scotch with a shirt off. The wound was patched up with white tape that covered up everything. He was watching the outside where helicopters hovered over the whole city, and every minute possible, he took a soft drink from the cup.

He didn't realize that Shaundi was standing there, her arms crossed like she was pissed off or something, which she always is. The Boss didn't say anything, but before he could get the chance to grunt, Shaundi opened her mouth. "I fucking hate you. I FUCKING HATE YOU, BASTARD." She screamed, walking back and forth around the apartment so she didn't eye him.

"I hope you know who you're talking to." He said, in a calm tone, still sipping down the scotch.

"I do, but you're fucking stupid. Pierce told me everything. They were talking about me, and then you blacked out for some unknown reason. Then I bet you weren't thinking again so you got shot in the shoulder. YOU'RE A FUCKING DUMBASS." Shaundi kept going and going.

"Shaunds, there is no reason to raise your voice." Again the Boss kept his cool, "I had to do something…" He replied back, a frown clinging to his face.

"You almost died." She was now chewing on her bottom lip, avoiding eye contact with the blonde.

The made the Boss just blow up, "ENOUGH, SHAUNDI." He quickly yelled out, throwing the scotch across the room so it could go everywhere, glass spilling off the wall, scattering everywhere. "I had to do something about these bastards. I had to do something that will make you stay with me. I know you want to crawl out of here to go back to your show, and ignore what's going on. I'm sorry that they had the nerve to kidnap you without my consent, and Shaundi, I didn't want you to come with me to pop some of those bitches in because I don't want to see a life without you. You're my best friend…"

He breathed in the air, eyeing that Shaundi stepped back a few steps when he was in his anger zone, "You're my girl. Forever and always, and I don't want to see a life without my best friend, like I've stated before. I wouldn't let my girl fall." His mind went all the way back to when Johnny Gat sacrificed his life for the two of them would get the hell off the plane, and then she was falling to her almost death.

The Boss had the courage to jump out of the plane, catching her with his own two arms. That's another reason when he realized that she's the one for him. After everything they've been through, he's willing to do anything for her, and he means everything. She needs to know that.

"Fuck, boss… I'm sorry." She replied to the big whole speech he had to do, turning her entire body to the door as he could see the luggage that was stashed by the elevator. His heart once again sunk down, "You're leaving, aren't you?" He asked, eyes falling to the ground as well as another piece of his heart also did.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I need to finish my show, as much as I want to stay, and be with you… It would be unfair for the others that really want to be my partner in crime."

"You're my partner in crime, Shaunds." He mumbled, guessing Shaundi could hear him because that really did make her laugh, and smile. It's been forever since he's seen that smile. She should smile a little bit more, because damn, she's one sexy gal.

"Too bad, I can't really be your partner in crime." He replied one more, a smile dropping down slowly off his face. She nodded, kissing his cheek softly, letting her lips just hang there for a few seconds more. The tension was stronger than a force field. "I'll see you next month, okay?" She added, grabbing her things, and then there she goes. Leaving The Boss sadden.


	3. I Know You

_I know You- Skylar Grey_

_I believe, I believe _  
_you could love me_  
_but you're lost on a road to misery_  
_and what i gave to you_  
_i can never get back_

**DON'T COMPLICATE IT.**  
**DON'T DRIVE YOURSELF INSANE.**

* * *

Light rain started to fall from outside, which made Shaundi just smell the sweet salty breeze that wangled away. She just laid in the bathroom, her entire body scattered around the room. She closed her eyes, just hoping this was kind of a dream.

She couldn't believe that this was actually real. She held her hair out every time her face was plastered inside of the toilet. She couldn't remember the time when she first started to throw up.

Probably two hours ago. It just kept on coming. In her hand held out a pregnancy test, stashed in her hand like she wanted to break it. It made damps in her hands, but she didn't care. She was definitely positive in this kind of thing. She hasn't even had sex, except the time with the Boss. "Fuck." She mumbled her breath, once again opening her eyes at the gigantic window that was on the roof. It was opened, and she just loved feeling the rain fall on her delicate face. It was peaceful, but the information that was passed along made her pissed off. She was furious. She wasn't ready to have a kid, nor would the Boss be ready.

He's a psychopath, or puckish rogue in his words. Every breaking wave was passing through her, taunting her to tell the Boss about the pregnancy, but she couldn't find herself doing that. Hell, she doesn't find herself having a baby at all. Well, for future ideas, yeah she would love to settle down, and actually have a family. Not now though. She hasn't even had a conversation since then. She only heard funny stories from Pierce, or just sometimes she calls him, but it'd be transferred to voicemail. She loved to hear his deep voice through her ears, but she really didn't want to hear him curse over the fact she's pregnant with his baby. She couldn't do that to him, nor the Saints.

They were in a bad situation right now, and the last thing they need is a baby on the way. Lost words, and thoughts ran through her head. It clearly made her head spin a few times. It might be because of how she's laying, or she's just thinking way too hard about this. Should she give it up, or just kill it? God, that made her stomach hurt even more. Or she just needed to throw up again. Maybe. Her hands were planted on the toilet seat, gagging everything up, "Fuck… Fuck." She whispered, tears falling down her face.

And then there was a knock on the door, which made Shaundi's head just pound, and spin around. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare that had her on the floor at whatever time it was, throwing up. She wanted to get out of here, go home, but home was where The Boss was. The real actual life she's been dreaming to have, but she couldn't, even knowing she's pregnant with his baby. Everything was rushing to her. Everything felt fake. Numb. She didn't deserve any of this. She didn't even answer to the numerous knocks that were transferred from someone on the other side of the door. She didn't feel like she needed to answer it, clearly since she didn't want anyone to find out. She was always a person that kept dark secrets.

A moment passed along, knocks still being pounded on. It seems like Shaundi got sick and tired of all the noises so she opened the door, her skin delicate and white like a ghost, and then she set her head back knowing who it was. It's her close friend Darcy Bath. Darcy was always the one to keep secrets from the Boss, even if Darcy was very loyal to others. It's probably because of her heritage, and how she grew up in Russia.

She wasn't skinny at all. She had some fat on her, but not enough for others to make fun of her. Her boobs were slightly bigger than Shaundi's, and Darcy always wore this blue jacket under all her other clothes. She once said that it keeps the dragons away, or whatever shit she said when she was high at the last Saints party at the HQ CRIB. "Holy shit, Shaunds."

Her accent was thick, making it misty in Shaundi's head as she tries to find the cause and the effect for this problem. The name Shaunds though. It's glued to her head, but it's only worded in the Boss's voice. The last time she actually had a face to face conversation with him was when she was leaving, and ever since then, her thoughts were flooded with memories, and unspoken thoughts. It drove her crazy, making her sigh with sadness, and regrets. She wanted to stay, but she couldn't. Everything was complicated that it made her go insane. Maybe she was insane already.

Shaundi sighed, "Yeah. I'm a mess." Her head was now planted on the shower door, her hand getting all sweaty from carrying around the stick that Bath gave her about an hour ago. She was in the bathroom for that long, probably longer, but she was trying to figure everything out. How she's going to deal with everything, and how she's going to deal with the Boss who has no idea about any of these. Horrible thoughts were now wandering through her veins, she didn't have enough strength to think about something else, or just think about the positive. Demons coming around her skin, eating her alive. "Just don't tell anyone..." She replied once more, whipping away the last tear that escaped her eyes, "Not yet anyway. I need to figure out everything before anything happens."

She trusted Bath more than she trusted herself. She's been on a ride of her life since she was carved into the Saints. She was a girl that had dreadlocks in the wrong time, a light bulb hanging out of her hands every five seconds and now look at her. She's a celebrity who changed her appearance more than anyone that's been in crew, well other than The Boss himself. He's changed so much that she's been hanging on a tightrope trying to figure out her feelings for the guy. He was the only one that understood her. He was always there to save her ass, and she's thankful for that.

* * *

[ ;; Six hours later ]

The music in the crib were blasting all over the place, not leaving a corner silent. It beat all around them, bodies dancing around, enjoying a good time, but for the Boss, he clearly wasn't having a good one. He was outside, his body leaning against the railing that was close to the pool. Even though people still hung around him, he didn't mind all the ruckus that came from the house, nor the little chatter that was spreading across outside. With the S.T.A.G gone, it felt like he really made something happen in this city. He actually felt good about himself, but there was one thing that left him hanging.

It was the voicemails that were left by Shaundi. He didn't want to bother by picking up the phone, and dial her number. He's been like this since the first voicemail was sent. He didn't want to sound desperate, but every time she called, his mind was sealed up with this unresolved thoughts, and feelings. It hurts him more than anything can hurt a man. It was a complicated matter where he hardly knew what to do.

Maybe he should pick the phone up, and call her back after 23 voicemails were delivered ever since she left about a month ago. He was lost. He didn't know what to do, and all he can do is just listen to them, smiling at the sound of her voice as it echos through his body, battling with his heart. The days seemed to drag on as the time without her came something obvious to him. He feared oblivion because of so many reasons but there is one reason that kept him alive, and it's Shaundi. Oblivion was finally crawling away from his thoughts as he keeps on thinking about the love of his life. He was just frustrated that he didn't have enough power to make her stay. Maybe he wasn't good enough. Maybe.

His eyes flashed up to the sky, eyeing all the stars, but then a hand landed on his shoulder, making him jerk back. "What the hell?" He added, turning his head around. Julian Curtis. He had a drink in his hand, sipping it down every five seconds. He's kind of the Boss's best friend, and someone he'd trust in a battle, reasons why he made him his co-boss, or whatever they call it these days. The Boss just gave him the title because Julian always had a pissy fit about not becoming a leader. It annoyed him, so of course the title would come in handy. "Boss, did you know that Shaundi is back? Pierce is talking to right now, and I feel like you need to see her. Her face says it all." Julian added, walking pass the Boss.

Probably drunk off his mind, but Shaundi? The Boss's skin became a hot spot, making it feel lik ehe needed to itch himself all over, but he knows that it's just because he's blushing since Shaundi is back. His face held emotions that made a big spot of dread. He feared that she's going to back down again, declaring she already found her partner in crime, which she did. It was some Thunder god, or the name he goes by is Puerto Rican Thunder God. Gosh, he hated him. Maybe he needs to leave the unresolved feelings alone, and just continue on being himself, the definition of destruction. He's good at being himself. He's just not very good at falling in love, or anything dealing with romantic gestures.

He walked inside though, his heart beating against his chest. It really felt like it was going to jump out, and just crawl away, even when his eyes matched up with hers. She was gorgeous, well she is always gorgeous, but something about her made his heart light up more and more as he continued to walk towards her. He smiled, but sadly, her smile didn't match his. She didn't even smile back. She looked pissy, and that makes The Boss back down just a tiny bit. It's like they were back form where they started, eyes matching up, and pretty much that was all they've ever got from other. A few smiles back and forth, but yeah, nothing romantic was out of it. He was about to walk away, but Shaundi's hand reached out for him, pulling him upstairs, locking the door behind them.

* * *

She wasn't throwing off her clothes, she looked sad, which made The Boss feel like shit. Watching her eyes was something he's always done, ever since he's known the girl. Dreadlocks or not, he's always known what emotion she had through her eyes. Mostly her only emotion is pissed, but this was different. It was really different, which made The Boss's heart just bang, and bang. It was impossible for him to keep everything low, and calm. He had to say something, "What is going on, Shaundi?" His voice was low, eyes backing down to the ground as he got ready for the answer.

"Um..." She blinked, composing herself as much as she could. Fuck she was unable to say anything to him right now, but it's been eating her alive, and Bath talking about the same god damn thing made her realize that getting a headache while being pregnant was a process that she doesn't want to go through. Sure, her head was blasting, choosing which way she would go to, but her head was passed the negativity line. She was right in the middle of it. She needed to blurt it out, and just get it off her chest. She never knew that her life would end up to this.

This moment right now was painful. She couldn't even find the right words, and that just makes her scared of everything that is going to be passed at her. She didn't want him to think badly about her, nor anything involving horrible words. She didn't mean for any of this to happen if she was going to be honest with herself for once. Or maybe he's going to ignore her, and just pretend that he never had sex with her. God, everything she was thinking about was negativity stashed up in her head, building more and more problems up. She couldn't find the right words, but then she did it. "I'm going to have a baby." She licked her lips back and forth, quivering.

Now she couldn't give back the words, and rewind everything. Everything was out in the middle, and the only thing she saw from him was confusion, "You're already pregnant with that Thunder guy?" The Boss questioned, raising a brow at the girl. Now she was seating through her hands, and then on the back. Maybe it had to deal with the music blasting off the walls, making her nervous, or it was the fact she needed to remind him that he's the father, not the guy that won her dating show. "No... Our baby." She kept the talk short as possible, eyes shutting closed as she waited for the answer that'll kill her once and for all.

And then the Boss's body jerked to the ground, eyes shutting closed as well. He didn't say anything. His face was unreadable. Through times, Shaundi was the only one that could read the Boss's face, but now, it seems like she's looking at an impostor. Her thoughts reeled back to his crazy nights where he was having sex with strippers, giving all the alcohol a turn to run down his body to forget about Gat's death. It seemed through those times where Shaundi realized that he wanted to be childless. Same as her, but this time it's different. He still didn't say anything. His mind was flooded once more.

The Boss could barely process this through his head. As much as he wanted to keep her around as his girlfriend, this moment feels fake. Numbness running around his veins like it had a reason to be there. Everything in his eyes were unfocused to him. He felt dizzy. Nothing could trigger him out of this state. He never thought words would spill out her mouth like that, including 'our baby.' He's having a baby. She's pregnant. His heart was melting before them. Aching. He wanted to comfort her, hug her to death, but again, his mind was flooded with thoughts. He could feel the goosebumps just run down his back, wandering to his arms. Burning him alive. He always hated the feeling of being cold with a little fire flashed up there.

He was in shock. Pregnant. Shaundi is pregnant. The word kept echoing through his head, repeatedly going through his mind over and over. It just wouldn't sink in. It was full of repressed fears. He could feel the headache come on, unable to leave his body alone. She's pregnant. Shaundi is actually pregnant with his child. HIS CHILD. It's his. THEIRS. "Do you... want it?" He was tentative about this, but he clearly needed to know.

A few hours ago she never thought about keeping the baby. She felt like it needed to stay hidden. Away from the obvious person, but as she kept thinking about the man that keeps her smiling, she came to a conclusion she never thought she'd have. "Yeah." She gave out a few little nods, a smile trying to process on her face. "I want to try and have the baby with you. Even if it hurts me to know that I'm going to be a mother in nine months." She quickly replied, sighing under her breath. At least she was scared.

He was finally the one to stand up, signing as well. "I love you." His hand moved to her cheek, lips almost touching each other's, but he kept his space.

That word made her heart flutter, she never really understood that word as she grew up, but now it feels like it actually has a meaning. A meaning that she's able to live by. With him. Her hands fall to his side, trying to manage a smile once more.

His free hand fell to her clothed belly, timidly. Shaundi can see fear through his eyes. She knew he was freaking out, which is normal, but it didn't really make her feel better in the moment. It felt dull to her. Everything about this situation actually made her feel sick. Her head fell on his chest, a few streams of tears falling from her face.

The Boss made sure to clean those right up with his thumb, "No crying, Shaunds. I'm here for you, no matter what. It's both of our messes, and I'm willing to clean it up, if you're able to help me out." He kissed the tip of her nose, his thumb still running across the wet plastered tears that are all over her delicate face now. Yeah, he was freaking out. Inside his body was building up more aches that made him cringe at the idea. Under their circumstance, he doesn't feel like it's the right time for the baby to walk on this earth, even after everything they've been through right about now.

After Shaundi getting captured, he feels like this is a nightmare he has to live for nine months, or even more. This was complicated, and now he's really becoming insane. His thoughts were ruining everything. This person, inside of her is his. Half of his anyway since he has to count Shaundi in. Maybe he's going over his head about everything because he wants to keep it. Maybe more than Shaundi wants to keep it. It's scaring him. Fuck, why now?

"We're going to get through this no matter how hard it'll be." The Boss whispered, letting his fingers run through her hair.

"Okay... I know this might sound stupid, but since we're going to have a baby and all, are you going to tell you're real name?" She giggled, her head still rested on his chest.

It didn't take him two seconds or even more to reply to her, "Elijah Grant Hardesty. I'm guessing you want to know my full name." He smirked, shrugging his shoulders back.

And then she kissed him, not even in a slow pace at all. Something about the name actually got her going. Elijah. Hmm, makes perfect sense by the way he looks. His blonde hues just makes an appearance in the sun, and his blue eyes were another thing. He's the definition of perfect to her. Their noses brushed against each other, none of them knew why they were kissing right now after getting this news, but it's not stopping her. She needed him. She will always need him, even if it's for sex, or just anything. Maybe that's why she can't leave him. She's glued to the thought of them being together, and now everything feels so real.

"Idiot." She mumbled under her breath, "I love you too, by the way.'

Elijah smiled, leaning down to kiss her belly. She always knew he was always going to do that, which makes her smile at the whole idea. He always told her that she deserves the world, and now it feels like they accomplished it.


	4. Cloudy Decisions

_Until the Last Falling Star by Matthew Perryman Jones_

_If there was a chance t__hat we could be lovers  
__I'd swim seven oceans a__nd keep going further  
__I'd hold my breath until y__ou slipped those words _

**THAT BELONG ON YOUR LIPS.**

* * *

Shaundi examined herself in the mirror. Long enough where her eyes were focused on one thing, and that one thing was on her belly. She only had a bra, and panties on. She just blow dried her hair, leaving it in a pony tail. Every since she found out she was pregnant, she didn't even take a second to look at her body, thinking that's it's gonna change soon.

Her hands were flat on her abdomen. She just kept on observing. She rubbed her hand multiple of times. She couldn't put her head over the fact that she's pregnant with the Boss's baby. God, that still made her feel sick. She never wanted a baby. She had her whole life planned out, but now it seemed like it had a limit.

She noticed that Elijah was trying to grow up a little. Julian informed her that he's been on and off at the baby store that was across, lurking through a few things without her consent. At first it made her smile at the idea that he's going to be a great father, and probably a good boyfriend. Well, they haven't put a title on it. Everything about this matter was confusing, and she just didn't know what to do.

She never thought Elijah would actually try and grow up. It seemed crazy since not too long ago he was looking for recruits for the Saints, and she was a girl with dreadlocks demanding a placement in a crew that would of been all killed if they didn't have him. She's thankful, but the baby thing? She doesn't know if that'll have a good report anytime soon.

She feels like she needs to be excited, but all she's been doing this past week is just throw up every second of the day, and angry at the fact she's pregnant. Those words don't come together, and every time she tries to say it out loud, it seems like she's choking. She wanted to scream, but something was holding her back. It's probably the fact her feelings for Elijah is bigger than she thought, and if he wanted to have this baby, then it's his choice, but she also needs to have a choice in this world.

She sighed, still peeking over at her abdomen. Hands planted, then she heard a voice behind her.

"Why are you looking at your belly?" Elijah asked, eyebrows raised. Her eyes fell to the ground, signing once again.

"I'm going to be fat, Elijah. At least I can look at my body before it happens." She replied, turning her body to face the man. His hair glowed in the light.

He was now the one to chuckle, "Oh stop it. You better hurry up, we're gonna be late." He walked over, kissing her hair softly. She nodded, hugging him right after. She'd be lying if she didn't say she was freaking out, even the whole going to the doctors knowing she's pregnant.

* * *

When the nurse called them back, Shaundi's heart was pounding against her chest. Elijah's arm was around her waist, helping her walk towards the large door. The hospital smelt like a... well a hospital. It was a thick smell, and it always made her cringe whenever she finds herself here, but those are times where she was alone. She kind of feels safe with him around. She always felt that way.

Whenever she was kidnapped, he was always there to rescue her. Numerous times of being kidnapped though, she grew on him. She knew no matter what happens to her, Elijah was there to sacrifice his life for her. He's here right now, having his arm around her waist like he's not going to back out. He was actually sacrificing his life for this baby, and that just makes Shaundi feel almost comfortable about the whole thing.

The nurse escorted them towards the room, and as they entered she told them that the doctor won't be that long. Shaundi twisted her body around, laying right down on the table. She breathed in softly, letting the paper just blast through the air. Sound rumpling back Elijah. He smiled at her. His warm always warmed her up. He didn't say anything though, which made Shaundi worry about how he's reacting right now.

Elijah sat right next to her, rolling towards her. He was about to open his mouth, but the doctor walked in at the wrong time. He grabs the Ultrasound machine as Shaundi pulls up her shirt, exposing her belly. This time Elijah found Shaundi's hand, squeezing it just a tiny bit. The doctor squirts the cold gel onto her stomach, letting the chill just run through her body. She jerked back, closing her eyes softly. Without a doubt, she swore Elijah squeezed her hand once more. The doctor now placed the probe on her stomach, and started to exam.

Shaundi's eyes were glued to the Ultrasound screen, her heart racing around.

"Wow," The doctor wiggled his nose, "What a heartbeat. I'm surprised how early it is, but nothing to worry about, it means your baby is healthy. Ten weeks, congrats."

Elijah smiled softly, he knew that this was true. Legit.

Then the doctor kept on talking about the terms that shouldn't be used as long as the baby is inside of her. Shaundi nodded through most of the discussion, Elijah's hand still molded in her own hand. She didn't feel like letting go would be an option, she always loved the feeling where he's close to her.

"And now, you're ready to start living your nine months with a baby inside of you, so please come to every check up so we can see how your baby is doing, and we'll go on from there." The doctor said with excitement, standing up on both feet. Before he actually walked out of the room, he opened his mouth up once more. "I know this is inappropriate, but my kids love you guys for some reason... So I'm just going to come out and say this... Can you please sign like a piece of paper, or whatever- Don't worry though, I won't say anything about the pregnancy, your privacy is good."

Elijah nodded his head, "Yeah. No problem." His hand was released from Shaundi's hand, walking towards the doctor who held out the paper. He signed it with his signature, then his eyes looked over to Shaundi who wasn't even paying attention to the whole thing. Elijah signed, giving it back. "She doesn't want to do it..." He whispered at the doctor, but not enough to block out Shaundi's ears since she signed right after. The doctor nodded his head right back, "Have a nice day."

As the doctor walked out, pulling the door right behind him. Elijah walked back towards Shaundi, keeping his hands to his side. "Are you ready, Shaundi?"

"To leave? Yeah sure..."

"No, for this. Like are you ready for everything that's going to be throwing at us." Elijah's voice sounded so worried.

"I'm never going to be ready, Elijah." Now tears started to fall from her face.

Elijah didn't say anything at all, he kept his thoughts to themselves. A twist of regret spilled through both of their bodies, but somehow Elijah didn't have all that much. He only regretted the things Shaundi probably thought about way before. Maybe he regretted seeing her like this. He never really had the chance to catch her shred a tear. As much as he saw her hurt, she really never started to actually cry. It made his heart get knotted in so many strings that it made him feel like sooner than later it would be yanked out. His heart started to pace up, "Will you try?" He asked, his voice so low and soft.

Now she didn't say anything. Words didn't come fast enough. That just made Elijah furious. He just nodded his head softly, turning his whole body towards the door and just walked out. Leaving the girl behind.

She pulled out of her phone, dialing Bath's number very quickly. Tears still fell from her face as she tried to control all her emotions, "Can you like… pick me up at the hospital. The Boss thought it was a good idea to leave…."

Elijah sat on the couch, flicking through channels. His head was rested in one hand as the other was bored, keeping a finger on a button that seemed like it was close to be breaking. His mind was flooded, and he wanted to try as hard as he could to keep his mind freed from the whole Shaundi incident, but nothing came back.

Moments later, he threw the remote on the ground. His hands ran through his blonde hair, letting his back hit the couch. He sighed softly once more, "Fuck.." He mumbled, biting down on his lip.

He closed his eyes as he heard the elevator door opened, he really didn't feel like talking nor did he have the strength to find the right words if it was Shaundi. It was though. Bath came rolling in as well. Shaundi's hands fell to his shoulders, whispering close to his ear. "Elijah… We need to move, okay?" She quickly replied. She wasn't crying. She wasn't whimpering. She was finally okay, but Elijah somehow jerked from her arms. His eyes widened, "What are you talking about? Weren't I pissed off at you, or are we done with that? I can take a few tears, y'know." Elijah smirked, how did he even do this? This was confusing him, but he didn't make sure it would threaten their relationship. "Move though? Where? Why?" He was now asking the questions.

Shaundi walked towards the front of the couch, sitting herself down as her hands were now planted on his face, smiling. "I want to move because I don't want to have people questioning about my pregnancy. I want to keep it a secret… If that's what you want. I want our relationship to be a secret as well." She lost her smile right away, lips pecking his. "I want to move in with you, and have this baby. You have to thank bath over there for making this come true…. Surprisingly. " She chuckled, lips catching up with his once more. Swaying both ways, and his hands fell to her waist.

Shaundi's hand made a trail to his neck, pulling him on top of her. " You're an idiot." She said quietly, giggling.

Elijah smiled right back, "I love you too, but please tell me this is true. This is legit with you, because I'm not okay about going down the break up road. I actually really like you… Well love, but you know what I mean." He broke away from the kiss, keeping his body right on top of her.

"This is real."

"This is real then." He smiled once again, kissing her lips again and again.

Bath came walking towards them, raising her own eyebrows. "Guys, I know your having one of those sweet moments, but where are you moving, and am I coming with you guys?"

Elijah's eyes crossed to the floor, shrugging. "Maybe Stilwater? The Saints are still strong there, and we can probably stay in one of the places I bought years ago. Besides, it's the place where I first met Shaundi. Romantic, huh?" He giggled, "But yeah, you're coming. I don't trust you with our secret." Clearly he was kidding.

Shaundi's hands were caught up in the moment, fingers playing around in his hair. Eyes magically lost in his, "Yeah when I was the biggest stoner. I had the biggest crush on this man. The first time I met him he had this goofy hair where it looked like he's Nyteblade, but in a Twilight kind of look. Right away after our first night together, I made sure he cut that shit right off. I didn't really keep it serious, since I was high out of my mind, but he did it anyway. He had it all cut off, kept his shadow on his face… He just looked like my kind of prince. Now he looks amazing. He grew up even more, and my feelings towards him grew."

A smile grew on his face, lips pecking against hers. "You weren't some druggie I fell in love with. You were something."

Everyone sat on the couches. Oleg was standing behind everyone, watching over. Viola was close to the edge. KInzie was crossing her legs with a computer, which she typed away. Listening to every word. She sat right next to her as Pierce, Bath, Shaundi, and Julian sat on the other side. The boss was standing up, throwing his eyes towards Shaundi, but not enough to make it obvious that they were sharing that moment.

"So you're saying that I'm in charge of Steelport for nine months?" Pierce asked, trying to get the facts straight and to the point.

Elijah nodded, laughing. "That's what I've been saying for the past couple of minutes, Pierce. Shaundi and I thought it was a good idea to get out of the town, and to see if there is anything important in Stilwater anymore. We'll be back, probably in ten months." He corrected him, and he sat right between Viola and Kinzie. Kinzie twitched, sliding herself away from him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Wait… Why?" Viola was the one that asked the question, head turning towards Shaundi then to The Boss.

"Many reasons. I'm only keeping Bath on this mission. If we die, I want some of these people to tell the story." He pointed to Julian and Pierce.

"Can we at least have a party before you go since that's our thang." Pierce quickly responded, teeth showing as he smiled.

Elijah's hands gripped the side of the couch, eyes washing over to Shaundi.

Bath chuckled out loud, shaking her head. "Shaundi can totally get drunk."

Shaundi shook her head, not pleased. She didn't feel like she needed to pinch, or just elbow her that the words she picks aren't really the best thing to start a conversation.

Elijah started to blurt out laughter, "Yeah… Totally. Urm, no. I feel like we need to leave right away, yeah?"

Shaundi nodded her head, "Like we have everything packed, and we are willing to leave soon as possible."

Viola rose her eyebrows, "Right. Well, good luck with whatever you guys are doing." She faked a smile, raising herself from the couch. She started to walk towards the door, but before any of that she trailed her hand on the Boss's neck. "Even you."

Shaundi quickly shut her eyes from that scene, crossing her legs and arms.

"I can't believe you picked Shaundi over me. I'm your singing partner, you can't live without me." But he could. Elijah wasn't sure if he could live without Shaundi, which makes his mind just flicker back to Shaundi, then right back to his crew that gave him everything. Some of them kept their eyes on him, as others kept on playing on the computer. Aka Kinzie. It didn't seem like she cared at all, but something about leaving kept a hole in his heart. He couldn't do it. He couldn't just leave everyone here, but he had to try. He's slowly falling in love with this 'it', which soon will become the love of his life.

"It happens. Look we gotta pack, but Pierce I'm trusting you."


	5. The Question

**I thought I'd update with story with two chapters that I thought would be together, but I didn't feel like it would be appropiate. Enjoy :)**

* * *

Elijah signed as he saw the SAINTS HQ be filled up with strippers, and random strangers he's never seen before. He just sat on the couch, drinking on a vodka on the rocks he made sure to get before people started to show up, eager to get their drink on.

He sipped every time he heard the beat drop, and sometimes his ears perked up when people talked about Shaundi's T.V. show. He didn't know who actually won the show, and he knows that Shaundi won't be with the guy since she's pregnant and all. It makes him happy, but at the same time regret run through his veins.

Cramps was delivered as he kept on thinking about his future. He wants to be the best father around, but something was holding him back to become one hundred percent sure about this. He's a killer. He's a heat breaker. He's nothing close to a family guy. He can't just change his act, hoping it would make everything better because it won't.

As he kept on thinking, his stomach turned and turned. His hand almost breaking the drink, but he calmed down immediately as he felt someone's hand fall on his shoulders, keeping his temper at the low key. His head turned around, cup still in his hand. It was Viola. He frowned a tiny bit, "Do you know what personal space is?" He asked, pulling her arms away from his body.

"Oh come on boss, we both know you need it before you go back to Stilwater with that whore." a smile was now planted on her face, evilness just getting the best of her.

He wanted to ignore her words, because he knows that Shaundi and Viola never got along, nor will they anytime soon, but something got to him that made his hair stand up on his arms, and neck. Goosebumps started to tumble through his body, chills dominating him. "I know you hate her for some odd reason, but you have no right to call her a whore." Elijah stood up, pointing his finger towards her.

" Boss, you know I'm kidding around." She smirked, walking towards the boss as her hands fell to his shoulders once more, lips almost touching his. "You don't need to get all offence over something so little. It's like you're in love with her, which you aren't cause you're thinking about me naked right now." She was now chuckling.

Elijah stood still, closing his eyes. He couldn't push her off him, he doesn't know what would happen if he did as the anger flushed through his body. He found himself just backing away, but without hesistation, Viola was the one to kiss him first. Lips touching. Her hands falling to his cheek, feeling the hotness that kept on flooding to the delicate skin.

He didn't kiss her back. The only thing he did was push her off of him, her body crashing into the couch. She laughed, crossing her legs as she took the drink out of the boss's hand, sipping on it as she turned her head towards the crowded dance floor. Then another smile peeked on the side of her lips.

When she kissed him though, he could smell the alcohol on her breath. He knew that she didn't know what she was doing. He didn't want to make her feel bad, but this time he turned his direction as he saw Viola's known smile. Shaundi. Fuck.

Shaundi left to go upstairs, stomping out of anger. Elijah ran after her, "Shaundi! Listen to me." He yelled over the loud music. He didn't really mean for anything like that to happen. They both know that Elijah has these strong feelings towards Shaundi, and he'd never cheat his way through life.

Shaundi kept on walking. Walking herself in the bedroom she finds herself sleeping through most of the nights here. Some of the nights here were cold, and some were warm. She didn't know what temperature was right now. It's probably between both. Hot and cold makes something dangerous. Something no one can control. A tornado was fueling up in her body. "What the fuck do you want, Elijah!" She yelled right back, and he shut the door right behind them.

He kept his hands up in the air, trying to control her. It made him feel like he was back in high school, trying to control the girls that fought over him, or the cheating crisis he had way back when. "She kissed me."

"She kissed you? What did you do to make that happen, asshole?" She replied back, anger taking everything.

"I didn't do anything. She just did it..." He tried to remember the last time he put actions involved with Viola. They went through a lot together. They fought off zombies together for christ sakes, nothing of that seems romantic. "She just did it." He repeated himself, knowing it's his only answer.

"Hormones, okay?" Shaundi started to blurt out laughing, pecking her tears off her face. "Promise me to kill that bastard next time, okay?"

Elijah laughed, "I can't promise that, but I'll make sure to tell the world that you're mine. Only mine."

She calmed down, her hands falling on his cheeks. Forehead touching forehead, "I love you."

He smiled, nodding his head back and forth as he helped her whip away those tears. They've fought. A lot, but somehow this baby is keeping them together. It seems bad, but at the same time it seems like a lifesaver. "We'll be ready to pack later, okay? Let's just get to sleep. I'm beat." He kissed her nose softly.

* * *

It was bright in his room. Sunlight dawned on his back as he held Shaundi close to him, spooning. He felt like he's in the honeymoon period with her pregnancy. Everything about this was confusing. She was mad last night, and the next she was happy. Is that the whole pregnancy thing then? Being sad and just happy the next? It highly confusing to Elijah. He's not that smart to know what's going on. He's only street smart, and there was no book about hormones on the streets of Stilwater.

Though he doesn't want to find himself complaining. He can't. Shaundi is different. He hated every kind of commitment that held out for him, but again, she's different. So different.

She was beautiful though. So beautiful. As she slept in his arms, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Even when she's yelling, crying, and even throwing up. She's too darn beautiful for this world.

He always liked throwing himself at the alcohol that was offered at all the Saints parties. Including the sex with random strangers, and the cigars that were for a special occasion, but this baby thing? New. Shiny. He was determined to spoil this baby to death, even if Shaundi has a say in this. He won't be listening. This is his baby too, and no matter what, that kid will have everything.

He's seen so many parents go off the deep end the moment that baby comes into this world. They don't pay attention to them, nor do they even have the care in the world to start being a parent. That was his parents towards him. He's always hated his parents for whatever they did to him.

They left him alone. They started to get themselves in the drug train, and they just slowly lost their baby. He hasn't talked to them since, his anger was always towards them. Hell, Shaundi doesn't even know half of his story. He doesn't want to start talking about it anytime soon.

He kissed the tip of her hair. She smiled, "Morning, my love." She whispered, stretching herself so she could face him. Eyes looking at eyes.

He smiled as well, lips pecking hers. He grabbed her waist, pushing himself to land on top of her, but gently. He didn't want to to hurt her. "Sorry... If I..."

She chuckled, "You didn't." Her finger caught his lip.

"You're gonna rock the bump..." He confirmed it.

She laughed playfully, knowing it's not the true fact.

"It's true. I'm not even kidding around right now. You're gorgeous no matter what you look like, even if the whole baby bump will be involved..." He carefully pecked her cheek, then her neck, placing little kisses. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Shaundi. You're like the best thing that happened to me in a long time. I've been in love with you." He never really opened up to anyone before.

Shaundi laughed, "God, you're so sexy."

"Seriously though. I'm telling the truth, like I love you. So much. I'm in love with you."

"I- You're not even kidding, are you?" Her eyes widened, "You've never opened up to me like that."

"I've changed."

"The moment I announced I was pregnant, right?" She chuckled.

"I guess so," He shrugged his shoulders back, letting a laugh just crawl out of his mouth. "I love you." He deepened the kiss, letting their lips sway together. His hand curved around her waist.

"Fuck, stupid hormones." She declared as she was the one to deepen the kiss once more, biting down on his lip. "I'm that crazy for you."

They were already naked. He didn't need to take his time dangling off her clothes, so he went for it. He kissed her lips for a few moments, then trailed his tongue down her neck. Then to her breasts, kissing both of the twins once. He wanted her more and more. He went under the covers, making sure his head was completely covered by the darkness that held for them.

He backed away though. Getting up from the bed, completely still naked. He smirked, "Just kidding."

"You're fucking tease. How dare you act like that." She chuckled, getting up from the bed as well.

He smiled once more, kissing the edge of her lips. More of a peck, "What can I say? I have to control myself too."

"You're right, but right now though? When my hormones are making me want sex more than food?"

"You need food. I'd make you something, but I don't think you want today be filled with fire. I've already had enough of that."

She shrugged, "I can always ask for Julian."

"Or Bath." Then both of them laugh, shaking both of their heads. His forehead was against hers, "You wouldn't."

"You're right. I'm in love with Elijah Hardesty. Forever and always. No matter what, okay?"

"No matter what." He was about to walk away, but he turned his body towards her. "So... When are we going to tell everyone about our little infant?"

Shaundi was about to get back in bed, but the question caught her off guard. Shit. Fuck. She didn't really want to tell anyone anytime soon.

"Oh. Yeah. You're one of those girls that love to keep things from people."

"It's not that... I just feel like it's not the right time."

"When do you think the right time is? When you're nine months pregnant, or when the our baby is about nine years old?" He signed, stripping on some clothes he found on the ground, "Your choice. I can't keep the secret forever. I'm going to fall in love with this baby."

She was about to open her mouth again, but she was shocked by other words that spilled out of his mouth. "You are?" She asked.

"I am. You can't stop me." He was teasing with her again.

"I don't want to. I'm actually happy to know that my baby daddy is actually going to become an actual father. If I got pregnant with... I don't know, with Veteran Child, he wouldn't even try."

"He wouldn't. You'd probably still be the same ole' you if he became your baby daddy." Elijah shrugged, "Besides, I don't want to lose you to another guy. That would be painful."

"You won't lose me. I think you're stuck with me..." Before she could finish her sentence, Elijah finished it for her.

"Forever. I'm not complaining at all, but would it be weird if I asked you to marry me?"

Shit. Shaundi's eyes widened once again, "What?"

"Oh you know. Marriage. We kind of skipped a few steps, but you know. Marriage." He needed to remind himself about the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Marriage?"

"Marriage." He corrected her.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

She just laid in bed, her hair falling down on her face. She didn't have enough strength to move it out of the way. "With you?"

"With me." He gulped, "Because why not? Shaundi Hardesty..."

She looked at him with a confusing look, "You're kidding right? Good joke."

He protected himself around this point, so he nodded, even if he wasn't kidding at all. "Yeah."

"Good one." She laughed.

He really wanted to get on one knee and asked her a questioned that feared him for a while, but right now, it didn't scare him one bit. The only thing that scared him was rejection.


	6. Dangerous Love

Shaundi needed to be honest. She knew that so called proposal wasn't a joke. She could feel that everything he was saying was legit. She is so unprepared for something like that to happen in her life. Sure, Elijah is the one. He's been in her dreams since the beginning of time pretty much, but something about getting married to him made her heart sting with fear. It doesn't make her feel all that good over the idea of being committed to someone. Even if it's him.

Elijah Hardesty. God, she felt sick to her stomach. It turned in so many places that it feels like her breathing was odd, and she couldn't really talk about anything.

It was the morning. She sat in bed, hand over her forehead as her eyes were glued to the ceiling. She kept on sighing. She lost control of her thoughts pretty much. She kept thinking about the whole conversation she had with Elijah.

She could see the twinkles in his eyes as a smile was plastered on his lips. It seemed like he was legit over the whole marriage thing, but something was eating her alive. Did she really want this baby, or was it actually the key to their relationship together? Before this, she didn't even know that Elijah actually liked her more than a friend, and now look at them. They are already saying 'i love you', and he's already asking for something big.

As she kept thinking about this situation, she didn't hear Bath walk herself inside of her room, but she did hear her accent. "Shaundi, I'm starting to worry about you." She starts, sitting herself down right next to Shaundi.

Shaundi started to get herself in the covers, trying to cover her whole head under. "Leave me alone."

"Oh come on, stop acting like that. I know you're pregnant and all, but that doesn't give you the excuse to lay in bed all day. I think you're supposed to get up, and try to live your life." She chuckled, frowning just a tiny bit. "Serious though, what's wrong?"

Shaundi shrugged her shoulders back, "I don't know. It's weird. I've never felt this strongly about someone, but at the same time I feel like I need to start letting go of him, y'know?" She didn't know what she was saying, she knows that for sure. She needs to go back to the time where everything was normal and the only thing she could do that is think about her life more and more. With him.

* * *

{ FLASHBACK. FIRST IMPRESSION. }

The Sons of Samedi. Fuck. Shaundi wasn't all that pleased about the situation, like at all, but something about that guy that was making the speech made her cheeks flush up. It might be the drugs kicking in, or she was actually starting to like him. He was handsome, she can give him that. Young for that matter, but he knows what he was doing. She felt safe for once. Ever since her parents got divorced, she never really felt all that safe with anyone.

She started to get herself in drugs just to calm down. She got more into it as she felt depressed. The drugs made her happy. Made her feel like she was on a cloud, and she could do anything on that cloud. She wanted to feel like Christmas was everyday in her life. Drugs made her smile. Laugh. Just have a good time. She wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

But anyway, back at the handsome man that finished his speech. She hardly really remembers half of it, but she knows that she's going to do anything to make him be pleased with her.

As people started to ruffle outside of the shit hole that was downstairs, Shaundi started to walk towards the Boss. She felt confident. Nothing could scare her, even if he's this so called asshole. "Hey, boss?" She asked.

He turned around, eyebrows raised. "You're Shaundi, yeah? Unique."

She chuckled, "Yeah, if you say so."

"I know so, but hey... Was there something you need? Sorry." He laughed as well. It's been forever since he actually laughed. She was cute. Cuter than the girls that find themselves in Stilwater.

"You know... Since I'm doing the Sons of Samedi, we'll be spending a lot of time together..."

"You want me to get high with you." He didn't even let her finish. He just felt like it was the legit reason why she was talking to him. Her voice was actually that kind of type.

"I was going to say I'd suck your dick, but you know, that's always great." She was joking. She was hoping he'd catch that. Or she'd be embarrassed. Like totally. Her cheeks would flush up, making her face look like a tomato. Or the time she smoked so much, and didn't inhale it right out. Both situations make since at this point.

He laughed. She thought it was a cute laugh. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you want Shaundi. I think you need to do a good job before that happens." He was joking as well.

* * *

{ FLASHBACK. WHEN THE BOSS LOOKS AT SHAUNDI IN A 'DIFFERENT' KIND OF WAY. }

Shaundi needed to look different. She's been called hippie way too much, and she didn't need to use drugs knowing that she has the Saints on her side.

They won pretty much all of Stilwater, what else did she need? Sure the parties they had were smoking. Drugs. Alcohol. Heaven, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to continue her life as a low life. The only person that seen her as who she is was the Boss, but she needed to feel happy about herself as well.

She pushed Pierce, and Johnny out of Stilwater just for them to come along. She needed their input on everything, even if it was all about her. She wanted to make sure that her new self would be perfect. Even for the Boss.

Okay, maybe she was doing it for him. She knows that he'd like her anyway, but she needed to try this new look. She wanted to be the definition of perfect, which she isn't. That's the worst part of everything, but what are you gonna do? It made her feel like she wanted to win his heart over. Her feelings for him were digging her up. Every inch of her body was wanting him, and changing her look was something she thought would be okay in this situation, and she made sure the whole entire world was on her shoulders right about now. She wants to be his girl.

Which she is. No matter what, but the way she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt sick of this image. She doesn't want to be called a low life, even if she was at the time, or is. She wants the whole world to look at her like she's business. She's capable of doing anything she can do, and by changing her look, yeah that's something that'll help her through life.

It's been months since she seen the Boss though. She was too scared to show her new self off to people, including the only person that ever cared for her, and when she did show herself to him, he was shocked.

"Shaundi?" He asked, raising a brow like he did the first time they ever had a real conversation.

"Boss." She replied back, teeth showing in her smile.

In the Boss's eyes, she's like the most beautiful girl he's seen. Fuck, he felt this way towards her since they've had their first conversation towards each other, but this was different. A very good different. He just smiled back, "You changed."

"We both have." She laughed, eyeing him up and down.

He changed as well. He doesn't look like a push over like he did way back when. He doesn't have a buzz cut, which was ordered by Shaundi, but the slicked back thing made him look even sexier. It kind of makes her giggle inside.

"We both have." He nodded his head, agreeing with her, "You're gorgeous." He had to. Every inch of his lips were covered with his tongue with a side of his teeth getting dragged to the edge of his cheek. "Why though?"

She wasn't expecting the question come tumbling out of his mouth. Also, she didn't really have an answer for him. She thought he'd understand without anything question involved. "Ah, you know, it just needed to happen." She shrugged her shoulders back, tempting to bite her own lip as well. "I hated being called hippie."

"You're not an hippie. You shouldn't get offended by names, Shaundi."

"I know, but it bothered me. It irritated me…"

"I'm not complaining about your new look, but seriously though. If you have problems with anyone, come to me. I'll make sure to put them in their place." He sat himself down in the familiar chair in the under ground HQ.

"I can't rely on you all the time. I want to be happy about myself too."

He sighed, eyes twitching back to Shaundi who just looked beautiful. Her eyes were pretty. He couldn't keep his eyes off her new features. Her lips. Looked so kissable, and her new breasts. That was his weakness if he was going to be honest, and of course that butt of hers. Lovely.

"Okay fine. Be happy, but let me tell you this, I always liked you for who you were. I'm hoping you're going to keep some of those traits close to you, but I'm sure it was you being all high." He chuckled. She chuckled as well. His words always made her smile.

* * *

{ FLASHBACK. THE BOSS SEES SOMETHING HE NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE. }

The Boss tossed and turned in his new bed. Something about this bed made him feel all uncomfortable. It was probably the idea that Shaundi's ex used to sleep here, or it was the fact his best friend was gone.

Fuck, Johnny was supposed to live. He was one son of a bitch, and dying was the last thing he'll find himself doing. Everything seemed so weird. The Boss's vision was unclear.

It was dark in the room, and it bothered him that he couldn't sleep in a damn simple bed.

So he got up, put on a t-shirt on he found on the ground and started to walk out, but he didn't expect to see Shaundi sitting down by the entrance of his apartment, her head buried in her arms. "Shaundi?" He asked, confused.

Shaundi flinched, and as her eyes met his, she came back to shake her head over and over. "Sorry, I didn't think you'd still be awake. Reasons why I didn't knock on the door…"

"It's fine. Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I'm never going to be okay, y'know? Johnny is dead. There is nothing I can do. It's all my fault. I could've helped him-"

"Shaundi. No. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It happens. It's life. We all die sometime."

"Not him. He's Johnny Gat. He's invisible. Immortal. I tried being invisible with drugs, but nothing worked. I relied on him, and now it seems like I failed in life." Now tears started to fall down from her face.

The Boss sat right next to her, "Don't say that."

"I'm saying it." And now the room was filled with silence. They can only hear the outside with cars, and police sirens flashing back and forth. The Boss stared at the wall that was in front of him, his eyes looking back and forth every once in a while. "It's my fault. I should've of done something…" Now the Boss was blaming himself. It really was his fault. He shouldn't have left him alone. To this day, he still blames himself.

Shaundi didn't answer him, she only let the fears tumble down from her face. Without hesitation, the Boss's hand creeped down to whip away the tears that were plastered on her face. She looked back at him, shocked at what he was doing.

He leaned in closer. She also did, but they didn't end up kissing. He ended up kissing the side of her eyebrow, whispering. "Don't blame yourself."

Her cheeks flushed up. She wouldn't be surprised if he eyed her blushing really hard, "Okay." She knew that her feelings for him were unstoppable. No matter what she does, she'll always like him. More than a friend. This moment was not the last time she felt his way towards him.

* * *

{ FLASHBACK TO WHEN SHAUNDI AND THE BOSS SHARED A DANCE. }

Shaundi needed to breathe. Everything was surrounding her without a doubt. The music was too loud, and all she saw was strippers. She needed to get outside before she tries to hit something. It's their first party in the new SAINTS HQ, and her mind was flooded without johnny. It's the only thing that left her up at night, thinking it's her fault. She also knows that the Boss hates it when she thinks like that since it's not her fault, but she was sure it is. It makes her stomach turn into knots. He died because she left him alone with those Russian bastards.

She walked towards the helipad where she felt the wind just get tangled in her mouth, and skin. It felt good. The hotness that was glued to her was gone, and that makes her actually attempt a smile.

"Hey, what are you out here?" A voice called from the distance.

She looked back, and signed. "You didn't need to follow me."

It was the Boss. Of course it was. He's always wants to try and help her through situations like this.

"I didn't. I come outside to think as well. Don't think you're the only one." He rolled his eyes, setting down the cup as he fished through his phone for something. A song. He turned on a song where it was slow, and the only thing that lighten you up was when the song was over.

Shaundi was the next one to roll her eyes, "You're kidding, right?"

He laughed, "Come on. Dance with me, Shaundi."

She finally giggled, feeling confident about this.

The Boss grabbed her by the waist, "I don't know if I'm good at this, but I'm willing to try if you're up for it."

"I'm always up for that." She replied, arms finally around his neck.

They started to sway back and forth. The Boss tripped over her feet a couple of times which was settled with laughs.

"Sorry."

"You better, asshole." She joked, her eyes disappearing in his. Again, they just swayed.

"You're beautiful." He said as he felt the word slip out of his tongue. It's been hanging there for a while now, and he feels relief just run over his skin.

"Boss-"

"I'm serious. Even before this transformation you were the most beautiful girl. I mean, you had flaws and all-" He chuckled as Shaundi blushed even more, "But either way, you're always going to be beautiful in my eyes. This, or just old Shaundi. You're all I see when I look at a girl…" And her lips captured his. He was surprised, but he didn't really care at all. "You're my girl."

Opposites Attract started to play, blasting through the air of Steelport. He let go of her, and parted away from the kiss. "This is my jam."

She knew that. He grabbed her by her waist once more. Back and forth they started to dance. Something they never thought would happen, and then he started to do random jumps and flips around the helipad. It seemed like he's trying to become this freak.

For sure though, thirty seconds in the dance, Shaundi felt like a fool once more. Dancing with him made her feel alive. It might be dangerous to go after him, but the way he was dancing for her was electric to her. He was infectious. She was smiling at him. She started to move with him in perfect harmony. It seemed like they had a nice rhythm, no matter if it was yelling at each other, or just talking. The right chemistry was right there, and none of them would do anything until the future after Shaundi was captured by the Stag.

She wanted this. She wanted him. It was hard though. She couldn't find the right words to start spilling out the truth. Everything about this was foolish. So unsure.

As ten seconds were left for the song, the Boss's hands were practically glued to Shaundi's waist. Her hands were folded in his hair. Lips almost attaching. She forgot about everything. She forgot about Johnny for a short moment. She forgot about the crowd that was inside, and she even forgot about the worries they had in this city. She felt okay. She felt okay with him.

* * *

"Shaundi…." Bath continued on. She guessed that she kept on talking when she thought about those moments with her man, and they just let her smile. She feels like she made a mistake, and if he wanted to marry her, then it might be legit. "I think you need to call it off, and disappear. It's easy as that."

"No… I can't. I'm in love with him." She told her, a smile showing up on her lips. She got up, not caring what she looked like. She really didn't mind. She needed to find Elijah before her thoughts will get the best of her.

She walked towards his room, not caring about walking in, but she wished that she did. Viola. Fuck. With him. They were kissing. She felt sick.

* * *

Elijah wasn't all that happy how things turned out. Shaundi basically said she didn't want to marry him, which made him unsure about everything.

It didn't even take him longer than two seconds to open up a bottle of scotch he has stashed in his cabinet in the kitchen. He made sure no one could see him like this, but he feels like he's taking this to the water. He should be happy. He has the girl he's been waiting for, and she is pregnant with his baby. He should be excited, but his hopes were plastered to the ground.

Nothing is getting better. Nothing about his relationship with Shaundi will ever be healthy, but he can't let her go. He's too much in love with her to even try.

He's been in love with her since she showed her fun loving self back in Stilwater. She's been in his dreams since then. He helped her through a lot of things. Helped her become this icon, and helped her when she's been kidnapped from her ex boyfriend.

He was always there to help her, and he was not willing to lose her. Even now. If he did, he'd be lost.

For weeks he's been having this dream just flash before him. It was if he actually went after Killbane, and killed him other than saving Shaundi. In this dream, it was a nightmare. Himself didn't cry, nor do anything about the lost. He just saved her a drink, and put a damn poster of her saying something about the whole partner in crime thing that is the key saying to her T.V. show.

He feels like this dream didn't make sense. If he had control, he'd cry because clearly he doesn't see a life without her.

He kept on thinking, and that lead him to drink more and more. His head becoming a weight.

He couldn't see straight. The only thing he could see is his hand, but that was hardly noticeable.

He wasn't himself in those short hours, and with Viola coming in his room, it really didn't help him.

"Hello, Boss." She said with that thick evil voice she has sometimes.

"Hmm." He replied back, his head pounding, and the alcohol strained to his hand.

"Hmm to you too." And without hesitation, her lips were placed against his.

He didn't stop it this time. For fuck sakes, he wasn't thinking. His mind was a blur like his eyesight.

They only kissed for a short time. Probably three seconds, and they were caught by Shaundi. That made his heart race.

"Great." Shaundi said, twisting her body around as she followed her traces back to her room, but Elijah slowly got off his own bed, following her.

"Shau- Shaundi." He was drunk. He probably won't make sense.

"Oh yeah, hello to you too boyfriend." She was being sarcastic. It made everything ill. Seeing them together though, it made Shaundi realize that getting in a relationship right now wasn't the best idea, even if she's in love with him. Sure, she made mistakes in the past, but she felt like this relationship would be different. She wanted to say yes to this engagement, but nope. He had to do that to her.

It felt like being punched over and over without a helping hand, Shaundi described it as that.

"Shaunds, please lis-sten." He couldn't keep his head straight for this conversation. His words were unbearable.

"No, listen to me. I fell for you knowing you'd do anything to keep me happy, and another reason why we got together was for this baby. You told me you'd do anything for it, and now it feels like you lied. You've been lying, Elijah, and that makes me pissed off at the world. You. Lied. To. Me. TO ME, and I'm done with that. Go back and kiss Viola for all I care, but please keep me away from all that. I'm pregnant, you asshole. I don't need you in my life knowing it'll lead me towards losing it, and please. Don't call me Shaunds, only Elijah Hardesty can call me that, and you're not him. Not anymore at least." She rolled her eyes, trying to control her feelings, but as Viola came out of the room, she felt anger flush through her veins.

"Well, well, well. Look at who's pregnant. I knew it." She smirked towards them, and Shaundi almost went up there, almost punching her but she felt arms grabbed her by the shoulders. It was Bath. Of course it was.

"It's not worth it." Bath tried to control her, and Shaundi was frustrated, and fidgeting in her arms. "Shaundi."

From her accent, it made Shaundi lighten up. Massaging her own neck, but now she went for it. She slapped Elijah across the face, hoping a hand mark would be there tomorrow, or even earlier. "The asshole of the century."

Elijah's hand was now on the cheek that got battled with, his eyes focusing on the ground. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. He wanted to apologize, but he did kiss Viola back. Shaundi walked off with Bath helping her towards the elevator. She was gone.

With Elijah, his eyes switched back to Viola who was just laughing away. He growled under his teeth, "Leave."

"Oh come on, daddy."

He rolled his eyes in the impact, "What do you want me to say, Viola? I just lost the love of my life."

"She's just a girl."

He closed his eyes, started to walk back to his room. He wasn't in the mood to start arguing. Not after this night. He felt damaged. Hell, he's always been damaged.

"She's my girl." and he slowly drifted off the sleep, tears printed on his delicate skin and he was basically spooning the bottle of scotch.


	7. Not Afraid

Elijah has been up for hours, tossing and turning in his own bed. He hasn't done that since Johnny passed away. He felt like he cheated his way out of something he thought would be a thing that'd change him for good. He used to be this hard ass, but now he's this scared boy.

He's been changing and changing, but not the good kind of changing. His personality stayed still. Mocking him back and forth. He didn't want to be the cheater. He was actually happy with her, but.

He doesn't even know why he did it. His mind was flooded with negativity. It trolled him. Last night was the first image of his weakness, and how terrible he is with a relationship. Even if it was Shaundi, the girl that brought him back from the ground.

He lives for her, and everything he does is for her. Except how he pushed himself over the edge by kissing he thinks highly of. Viola is just a friend. Shaundi is more than a friend. Big difference.

He curled his hand around the bottle that's been hung to his body since last night. His mind. He couldn't see straight, but it never really bothered him. Julian walked right in, a smile flashed on his face like he's a joker. "Wake up beautiful man. We have things to do."

"Things to do?" He questioned his attitude, "What are you talking about, dude?"

"Yeah, I thought we talked about Kinzie-"

The Boss rolled his eyes, "Kinzie will say no."

"You don't know that."

"I think I know her enough, Julian. I've had a slight crush on her also, but not enough to be crazy about her like you are."

Julian frowned as he played with his fingers, sitting himself down on the bed. "I can't get her out of my head." He confessed, which made Elijah's heart just struck a lightning bolt, or something close to that.

Elijah sat up, hand planting on his close friend's shoulders. "I know what you mean, man."

"No you don't. This is different. I want to say something, but nothing will come out of my mouth."

"I do. I had the same thing happen to him not too long ago- I feel like it's still happening to me. I like a girl. She liked me, but I was too over my head, so I cheated. What do you expect me to do... Sit here, or try to fight?"

Julian sighed softly, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe you do understand. I'm not that good with relationships like at all... Like you said, we're both way over our heads."

Elijah refused to let his buddy say things like that. He's basically the only guy that has the ability to say something close to that, "Don't. Just say something then things will get better, Julian. You don't know what you'd get if you don't talk your way through things."

"Help me then. I trust you enough to help me through this, boss."

Elijah nodded his head back and forth, getting himself out of the bed. Leaving the bottle of alcohol still. He grabbed a shirt from the closet, throwing it on him. Julian kept his eyes on the ground.

It made Elijah feel like he could do anything for his lieutenants, but he couldn't do anything right for himself. It made him cringe, but this was his best friend. He'd do anything for him, including the whole Kinzie thing that needed to be handled, "But urm, I'd hate to say this... Oleg has a thing for her."

Julian caught Elijah's eyes, confused. "What are you taking about?"

"Oleg and I took a ride a while ago, and he talked about how Kinzie looked cute, and he basically spilled his feelings for her..."

Julian's fists hit the bed, "I'll do anything to win her over. Competition doesn't bother me."

Elijah eyes opened wide, "Right. Sorry."

They both laughed as they walked out of his room, but Julian was the only one that managed to walk himself down the steps. Elijah's eyes were on the girls that were talking to Pierce.

"Oh shit look who woke up, there he is." Pierce blurted out as his eyes didn't look away from the chess game he had with Oleg. Elijah sure doesn't know why he's obsessed with the game, but he hardly didn't even care about that right now. Those females caught his eye. His stomach started to turn knowing who it was.

The first female that looked around was a blondie. She had blue eyes. She dressed up in lovely clothes, more of a top that showed off her stomach. Her hair was in a pony tail longer than her neck pretty much. Rose Hardesty.

Then the second female found his eyes. Black hair. Blue eyes once more. She dressed up in athletic clothes, and her hair was a pixie hair cut. Stephanie Hardesty.

"Do you know them?" Julian asked, a confused expression hanging on his face.

"Yeah... These are my sisters." He bit on his lip as the others looked at him. They hardly know anything about his past, and this was something he wanted to keep a secret. His damn family.

His two sisters waved at the same time.

He couldn't even see straight now. Kudos to him.

* * *

The next day. Shaundi hated the feeling that she lost two things in her life. She thought it was the good idea, but the moment that the doctor touched her, she blurted out uncommon feelings. She felt like she made a mistake. A mistake where she can't go back and change. It's going to live with her as long as she lives.

Shrill cries. Her hand felt like it was molded in the older woman's hands, she couldn't let go. She was better than this. Or maybe she was born to act like this. Her parents never told her to do something reckless like what she did earlier today. Fuck, they never taught her anything through life. She wanted to become a parent deep down, but she couldn't handle what she lost. She lost Elijah. She lost Johnny. She lost herself, and someone she thought she'd care about. It was a it. A it.

She couldn't let that go really. She was numb. She wasn't thinking, and now she has to pay the price for what she's done to the poor soul that was developing inside of her. Elijah really never gave up on her. She was just afraid to continue on knowing she was about to fall deeply in love with the man, and have a damn baby with him. They seemed to skip a few steps, which made her sick. Knots being created in her stomach.

This lead her to become the world's biggest killer. She walked away. She knew that he didn't mean to kiss Viola, but at the same time, she really didn't care who started it. He kissed her back. Those feelings made her fall back. Falling down all those steps that kept on killing her over and over. She never dreamed about this day until now. When it's reality.

She wanted to have the perfect life. The perfect husband. The perfect baby. The perfect everything, but she's Shaundi. She's not even close to being perfect. She was the opposite from the definition of that word. She has worthless parents. She used to be some girl that thought drugs were breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She keeps on believing that it was her fault that Johnny died. She wasn't perfect. She got pregnant by the Saint's Boss. Who does that? It was Shaundi. It's always going to be Shaundi who makes mistakes, and then she'll have to try to jump over those feelings.

Her actions lead her to cry in Bath's arms. She couldn't let go. Nothing about this moment felt right. It felt a dizzy situation. She allowed herself to this life. The life she never thought she'd wanted, and now that's washed away. She didn't want this life. She made a fucking mistake that she'll never get back. "What am I doing to do?" She asked Bath, letting her body fall to the floor as her head buried in the other female's shirt. She could hear her own heartbeat bounce off her chest like a drum.

"Tell him." Bath didn't hesitate on saying. She gulped to herself, realizing that she had no power of letting Shaundi know what she did was the worst idea. She wanted to scream at her because she is a mother, but she wasn't the best mother. Darcy Bath got pregnant when she went on her sex adventure with many guys. The last thing she thought would happen is getting pregnant until boom, it happened. A beautiful baby boy came out of her. Daniel Bath. Daniel left him to wander to his father that should be remained nameless, like nobody cares who got Bath pregnant. It didn't matter, but Bath knows that losing her only kid was the worst thing she could go through. She didn't want Shaundi to have that life, but it happened. In both of the girl's bodies, death was upon them.

"I can't. He'll hate me." Shaundi whispered as she pondered about telling him, "I can't go through that. I love him... Yeah, I said it. I love him, and knowing he'd hate me for something stupid I've done would hurt me. I hurt his own kid..." Tears started to trail down her face, arms now around Bath who felt warm to her.

Bath once again gulped, twisting and turning in her stomach. "Lie to him."

Shaundi sat herself up as Bath washed away the tears, "Lie?"

"Lie. Lie to him. Don't tell him the truth if it'll hurt you that much. Make him believe that you had a miscarriage or something." Bath continued on, grabbing a alcohol bottle that was setting down on the bed above them. She pop the top off it, letting the drink wash down her throat.

"I... I can't." Shaundi stuttered, shaking her head back and forth. It was a horrible idea, but if it's going to help her not get in trouble with the Boss, then she needed to say that stuff to him. "... If it's going to help me, then okay. You gotta help me too, Darcy."

Bath nodded her head, "Why not, I'll help." Her accent was thick. Shaundi just agreed with the devil.

* * *

Elijah's foot started to drum with the floor, his inner finger in his mouth as he toyed around with his nails. His eyes didn't leave the coffee table knowing that his sisters were sitting across from him. Stephanie, who had short black hair, and his twin who basically looks like him, but with boobs and shit. He has a weird relationship with them, and seeing them now made his heart race on a track, knowing he's not going to win anytime soon.

"Seriously, brother?" Rose threw her hands up in the air, raising her eyebrows at the same aged man. "Are you just going to sit here, and make everything awkward?"

Now his eyes matched up with her, scowling at the female. His inner finger was still being polished with his teeth as his foot started to drum a little faster with the floor. He couldn't find the right words to come out with. He didn't need any of this. He lost the love of his life not even twelve hours ago, and now his sisters are trying to make him be the prince of their little game. Whatever that is.

Stephanie rolled her eyes as the room grew silent once more, "You've got to be fucking kidding me, brother. We're here to arrange a deal with you. I know some information about this boy that needs a home because to be honest, I hate him for following me everywhere. He's basically in love with him." A smirk showed up on her lips, now checking her nails. "Go get the boy, Rose."

Rose stupidly nodded her head, throwing herself off the couch as she went down the elevator to snatch up the so called boy.

"Stephanie, I don't need your boy." Elijah finally blurted out as he now cupped his hands together, laying them on his thighs. "I don't need you here."

She kept that little smirk on her face. He wanted to slap it off right about now. "Whine. Whine. Whine." She made sure that her words were at a slow pace, grabbing a gun out of her back pocket, smearing the gun point on where his purple tattoo was showing. He gulped, it was pretty obvious that was his case. "What do you want, Stephanie?" He asked, his left hand lowing the gun just a notch.

"Be a daddy figure for this kid." Stephanie replied hearing the elevator come up. Her eyes flashed over to the elevator noticing that Rosie finally showed up with the kid. It was a body. He had short hair, light brown. His eyes were blazing the color blue, Elijah could tell from where he was sitting. He looked young. Maybe fifteen.

Elijah looked back at Stephanie, "Daddy figure? This could take care of himself."

Stephanie just laughed, her hand laying on his shoulder like he was some kid that made a mistake by throwing his father's baseball in the pool. "You left when you were about sixteen, Elijah. He's not you. He's different. Without us, he'd probably be in jail. Or even worse, dead. Look at the bright side, you wouldn't need to get someone pregnant if you have this kid."

Once again, Elijah gulped. His mind was all for Shaundi right now. "I don't need him."

"But he needs you. Just do this." Stephanie picked up her purse that was at the end of the table, thinking she's just going to leave the boy but the elevator shut on. All eyes were on the elevator, and came out Bath and Shaundi.

Elijah's eyes twitched to the floor knowing who it was. He's not in the mood to start fighting with Shaundi, but the heard the boy's voice. "Mom?" He was looking at Bath.

Bath flinched back, shaking her head. "Huh? I think you got the wrong girl."

Elijah looked at Stephanie, "Are you fucking serious? A kid that has mommy issues, seriously?"

Stephanie's mouth started to play with a smirk, "Sounds like you. He also has daddy issues."

It didn't take Shaundi a second to react from all the people that were stashed in the living room, "Who the fuck are these people?" She eyed Stephanie first, looking up and down at her body then her eyes switched to Rose. She rose her eyebrows at Elijah now, "Another Hardesty?"

Elijah started to play with his lip, "Three Hardesty's actually."

"Three? You have sisters?" She asked, pretty shocked over the thing. "And this guy?"

Elijah pointed his finger at the handsome boy, nodding his head with his actions. "Him? Yeah, I don't know about him. Tell me your name."

His eyes didn't leave the floor, "Daniel." It seemed like he didn't have a last name, so no one thought it was a good idea to push him off the edge for a name that probably didn't matter to any of them.

"Daniel." Elijah repeated as he walked over the boy, a slap on the back was needed. "Welcome to the Saints."

Daniel smiled, "Thank you, sir."

"Oh, sir. That sounds fancy." Elijah was being the biggest nerd now, then his eyes washed over to Stephanie. "You can leave."

Stephanie laughed, "Oh forgot to tell you... We're staying."

"WHAT?" Elijah yelled, he clutched his fist but Rosie pulled him away. "Don't."

"Ugh... For how long?"

"Long enough. I'm thinking about joining the Saints. I heard that they were the best, and my brother is the Boss." It was like that smirk lived on her.

"You want to join?" He asked, confused. "Fine. I don't care. Just leave me alone, okay?" He agreed, pushing himself up the stairs.

Bath gave Shaundi a look, pushing her up the stairs as well. "Go."

Elijah looked back, raising a brow of his. "What are you doing, Bath?"

"Shaundi has something to tell you." Bath nodded her head, giving Elijah a soft smile.

Elijah also nodded his head, taking Shaundi's hand.

* * *

She didn't refuse. She couldn't. She just needed to get the pain right out, flashing it in front of The Boss, who always had her back. Even if he makes mistakes, he'll always have her back. She'll always love him. She just took a hold of his hand. He squeezed it softly, still walking up stairs. Shutting the door right behind of him. "Look, Shaundi. I'm the biggest dick in the world, and I apologize for being that way. I love you. I love only you. Viola doesn't mean anything to me.. I just-"

She interrupted him, grabbing the both of his cheeks with her palms. "Just shut up." Then she whispered, catching her lips with his. Molding their lips together as if they've been needing it. Their kiss was rough. It was raw.

"Shaundi... Are you okay? Aren't you supposed to be mad? Oh fuck, you're pissed." Elijah pulled back, hands hitting his head like he's the most stupid boy in the world.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Elijah. You're the biggest pussy I know, and now you're backing out when a girl is trying to seduce you. Pussy." She was mocking him now, and Elijah just let it happened. He may be the biggest asshole in the world, but he's not that bad. Pussy.

That world rolled in his head a couple of times before his eyes matched hers. She kept on going. "You're such a Pussy, Elijah Hardesty. You're a fuck face that kissed another fuck face. Maybe you guys are meant to be. Go with the bitch then, I don't even care anymore." She rolled her eyes, turning the knob but Elijah pushed Shaundi against the wall softly. ( he still thinks she's pregnant, so he's not that harsh. )

"Oh shut the fuck up, Shaundi." He snapped at her, again molding his lips against hers. Grinding his body against hers, but then she blurted out crying. _You've got to be kidding me_, _thought Elijah_. She's was the now wasting their time. "I can't..."

"You can't what, Shaundi?" Now he backed away just slightly, his thumb brushing away the tears. It felt like the time where Shaundi told him she was pregnant, the same reaction was on her face. He could see it. Maybe she's pregnant with twins. Who the hell knows. "Shaunds?" He asked again, trying to get the pain right out of her.

"I lost my baby, okay?" She was lying, it just wasn't obvious to the male. "It's my fault." That one was true, she was stupid. She just made sure the doctor felt her in a way she'd never felt before. The coldness filling her body, just letting screams fall out of her mouth.

His entire body jerked back onto the bed, a hand was on his mouth. He didn't look back at her, he didn't have enough strength to look back at her. He finally felt the pain she was feeling. Tears batting his eyes, redness showing up right away. "You lost the baby." He repeated the sentence, shaking his head back and forth. He was actually excited to have a baby around here, he wanted to be the best father in the world. He may had the worst childhood, and the worst sisters to make his life a hell, but he would of done anything to be the best father out there. He would've of loved it to death, that's the dream for every child in this world.

Elijah wanted the love from his parents, he wished and wished until his hands were bleeding from the pain he had to be by himself since he was age 5. The pain rushed through his skin, bruises and knots in his stomach were created by the way he held onto the rope called the Hardesty clan. He tried, and just tried, like the way he wished. Nothing happened. He just stopped wishing when his eyes started to turn red, like right now. He just gave up. When he turned sixteen, he didn't care that his parents would miss him, because he knew for sure they wouldn't, nor would his sisters.

From that day forward he promised himself that talking to them would be the last thing he'd do in this world. He hasn't talked to his parents since the night he left them alone. The clock would still be counting for his sisters as well, but that broke earlier today. Now he is stuck with them. He really didn't have all that many problems with them besides the fact they were princesses to his parents.

This moment felt fake. Everything in the room felt dim. He could hardly hear, or even breathe for that matter. His hands started to tremble as his eyes looked beside him. He couldn't bare to look at the women he got pregnant, and now feel like everything is going to be okay. He lost his only child. He lost it. Whatever gender it was going to be, he was going to love them to the moon and back. He'd probably drop everything for the baby, but now? It seems pointless. Everything was numb inside of him, and the only thing he could do was let tears fall from his face. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to have a happy life with Shaundi and the baby. The three of them, fighting to be a family. Whatever they picked, he just wanted to be happy. With them.

Shaundi sat on the bed, wrapping her arms around him, kissing the tip of his head as she burrowed her head into his neck. "I love you, Elijah, and I'm sorry." She felt horrible as well. She was the main reason why their beautiful angel was dead. She just couldn't stand being pregnant right now, and she went down the worst road that could ever occur. She was lying to him. It wasn't obvious, but it made her flinch every time she thought about it. Thoughts were scattered into her head, her lips fought off his ear. Kissing it softly. "We all can't be perfect, baby." She whispered it, and Elijah grabbed her head, pulling it towards her lips. He pecked it softly, then it was resulted into a rough kiss. "I love you. I'll always love you."

* * *

_**Author Note**: I apologize about this chapter, they just needed more drama in their life because I'm the most evil person in the world when it comes to them, my OTP. I feel like them losing the baby would put more character development in their skin, and just make things flow like they are supposed to. Writing this chapter was pretty hard for me, I did a lot of research on this topic, please don't worry._


	8. AUTHOR NOTE

_**AUTHOR NOTE.**_

It's been almost a year since I've updated this story, which is not good at all, I know. I've been busy with personal things, and just college has been biting my ass. I couldn't find the right time to write anything, but I recently got the muse and the time to write up a new chapter. I had to read through this story, and see what I can do for the next chapter. A lot of angst could come out, and maybe some fluff for Elijah and Shaundi. I'm really excited, because I missed these two so much. They're my babies, and soon enough, they deserve happiness.

I'm hoping to write through when the Saints end up in the White Crib, because it would be a lot of fun writing. I need to get through a few things first, like Shaundi's abortion, and why Elijah's sisters are around him, basically ruining his life once more. I have a lot of fun ideas, and I'm willing to share most of them with you guys because they're really great, and just brilliant for the two. Even if they're so stubborn, they're great.

I'm hoping I'll be posting the next chapter sometime this week, or so. I kind of worked on it through December and January- I just need to write more and see what could happen. If you guys have any ideas for upcoming chapters, you can PM me anytime you want. I'm willing to write something up, because seriously, these two are absolutely my favorite. They mean a lot to me. So thank you guys for liking it!


	9. Past Memories

Everything wasn't the same. Nothing was the same, it was obvious. Elijah had no idea what Shaundi put them through when she went to the doctor. How could he? Shaundi didn't want Elijah to be hurt- After everything he's done to keep her safe. He was someone that really looked at her, and saw potential. Before Shaundi even knew his name, The Boss was someone that really saw her. Veteran Child was just a drug boy, but Elijah? He was everything to her. She'd do anything to keep him safe as well, even from her mistakes.

A baby would've been cool. A Saints baby would've been loved by everyone here, including the parents. A Hardesty baby- Everyone should be worried by how the kid would charm everyone's ass off. God, by thinking about it, Shaundi's face just lit up. Cross out the baby and everything else- She was in love with The Boss. She can scream it from the rooftops if she could. Her love for him gets stronger everyday as their eyes matched up.

She sometimes pretends that their love wasn't serious. She could be a bitch to him all she wants- She just wants him to know, no matter what, she'd love him. His dumb little face. His facial hair. His hair. His everything- She was in love. Every time she thought about him, her stomach was in knots. Butterflies. Goosebumps. She didn't want to turn into the biggest girl out there- But every time she looked at him, those things happen. Dumb little crush.

She was in awe as she curled up. About to fall asleep, she heard a noise waltz over to her. She sighed as she knew it was one of Elijah's dumb ass sisters.

"So- You're Shaundi, right?" Stephanie asked, lighting a cigarette that was between her two inner fingers. Shaundi was looking at the dark sky- Something that's just unnatural for her. She never really looked up at the stars, because she felt like it was pointless, but right now, it was calming. Even if Stephanie was around her. Though, she just wanted to be alone.

"Yeah." Shaundi replied, facing Stephanie for a short moment. Stephanie was seriously Elijah's sister. She looks just like him, and it was haunting to Shaundi because it's been such a long time Elijah and her had a simple conversation. It was awkward, and just depressing.

It's been weeks of void for Shaundi and Elijah. They've never been apart like this before, and it was making Shaundi just go crazy. Elijah was the first person she'd talk to after a long day of killing people with her bare hands, or she just talks to him just to hear his voice because it was calming to her. These past couple of weeks she's been wanting him to touch her. Just to be in his arms- Even if she lied about what happened to their baby, she still feels like this damaged him.

"You're pretty," Stephanie laughed, adjusting herself in the chair. The stick slid down to the side of her lips, a smile flashing on her lips. "Too pretty, but hey, Elijah is happy, right?"

Shaundi faced her once again, her fist in a ball. Stephanie knew it's been rough for them, because she's always been around them whenever they fought, or just had a depressing conversation ever since Shaundi said they lost the baby. Stephanie was been lurking, and it's been really annoying for the both of them, pretty much. Even if Stephanie is Elijah's sister, Shaundi would do anything just to punch her god damn face. "Fuck you." Shaundi stood up, shaking her head back and forth. She walked inside, sighing under her breath before she was stopped by Rose Hardesty. Oh god, when will these people just leave her alone.

Rose though. Twin. The real life twin to Elijah. Even if Stephanie looks like Elijah- Don't get her started on how Rose looks. Just like Elijah. It was frightening. It was making her blood pump faster, wanting to talk to Elijah and just kiss his lips. Though, Shaundi should be pissed off at the guy. He practically cheated on her with someone she can't even stand. Her mind was fogged up with pain. Did she really deserve this?

"Shaundi." Rose walked by, humming a sweet tone before Shaundi grabbed her arm, pushing her against the glass window.

"Rose, are we going to have a problem? I'm already sick of you and Stephanie. Elijah doesn't like you guys being here. The only thing he cares about right now is that kid you brought. He's really stepping up his game with Daniel. Teaching him the Saints style- Elijah doesn't need this." Shaundi started to bite down on her lower lip, her fingernails digging inside of the other girl's arm.

Rose tried to push away, but Shaundi had a lovely grip on the girl. "So just leave."

"We're not going to leave until Daniel knows what he wants from his mom." Stephanie walked in, eyeing the hand that was upon her sister. She didn't push Shaundi away though- She didn't want to get in a fist fight with the girl anyway.

"His mom? Mommy issues, I can see that." Shaundi shook her head, letting go of Rose in a full force. She turned her body, her hand falling to the back of her neck, and started to massage herself. She sighed, "Darcy doesn't deserve this, okay?"

Darcy Bath. Russian. Crazy. Shaundi's so called new best friend. She's been there for Shaundi since day one- When Elijah wasn't around, of course. Bath really didn't deserve this- She probably had a good reason why she left her own son. Everyone has a reason to do bad things, including Shaundi.

"Darcy does deserve it." Stephanie pointed out, like she knew the whole situation. She probably did, and she was just using her evil powers to take down Bath. Seems like something Stephanie would do- Even the short amount of time of being around Shaundi. She could see the imaginary horns coming out of her damn skull. "I just want Daniel to have a great life- Maybe killing Darcy." And that damn smirk of hers showed up on her lips.

Shaundi now pushed Stephanie against the glass window, her arm planted on her throat. "Don't threaten my team."

And of course Stephanie wasn't trying to fight back. She was just laughing. Shaundi realized that she wasn't worth it. She pulled her body off the girl, anger still flooding through her bloodstream. "Don't threaten her, or I'll make sure Elijah does something. He respects Darcy."

"Sure, he respects her. He respects you as well, but he won't when he finds out that you aborted his child."

* * *

"So, she was pregnant?" Julian asked, kicking his feet around as he walked with Elijah along the streets of Steelport. Elijah nodded his head up, his hands in his coat pocket as he remained sad, and just confused. He was frustrated. Would he be a good father? Would he be a good husband? Questions were just pilling up, his head just pounding. The alcohol must be talking.

"Oh man. I'm sorry." Julian replied to his nod, surprised that The Boss and Shaundi got involved. Well- Not exactly surprised. They were always eye-fucking each other, and yeah, it was obvious, but them as parents? Shocker.

"It's whatever. I'm just worried about Shaundi, y'know? She was the one going through it. She's the girl, and I'm the guy. I guess the girl goes through a lot more. Though- It did hurt me." Elijah responded quietly, sniffling through most of his words. He never thought he'd be crying over an it. The it was going to develop into a human being. It was going to be something to him. He was going to love, and cherish the it. Now it just feels like everything he was planning for just hit him straight in the heart. Punishing him for cheating on Shaundi. God, his stomach was turning. "I bet she's just crying right now- That hurts me more." (Actually, she's throwing things at Stephanie and Rose.)

"Just like Kinzie makes me feel-" Julian shrugged his shoulders, laying a hand on Elijah's back. "You'll get through this, brother. You're the Boss of the Saints. You're amazing, and powerful. You take bullets everyday from cowards- This is just one thing you need to get through, even if it hurts like hell. You love Shaundi, and yeah, you guys deserve each other- It's just a bump in the road."

Julian was right for once. It was just a bump in the road, or a bullet clashing into his ribs. It hurt like hell, yes, but yeah, he needed to be the bigger person and be there for Shaundi. The night when she told him that they lost the baby was the night Elijah cried for something. He's known to be strong, and careless, but real life tears fell down his beautiful cheeks. Creating a mark in his heart. Tape couldn't help to refill how he felt before she told him. She was his girl. He'd never let his girl fall, even in needles of pain. "Thanks."

Elijah pulled Julian into a hug, "Thank you- For real. I'm not just saying that."

Julian nodded his head, "I know you aren't. You love me."

Elijah huffed out a laugh, about to continue walking until he was stopped by Darcy Bath. Of course. "I need to talk to you about something."

Bath was dressed in leather pants, and a light blue hoodie. Her hair the same since the last time they talked to each other- Of course she wouldn't change it, she's Darcy Bath. She loves sticking to things. She was known for it- Besides her personal life. She tries to find a way to move past it.

Elijah started to sigh, "Whatever you want, Bath." He latched his arm around her arm, keeping her close as they walked. He looked at Julian, shooing him away.

"I fucked up with my family," Darcy said saddened, very aware that she was a fuck up. Just like Elijah in a way. That's why the two are so close, and pretty much the same. They both are cold killers. Sarcastic, and just broken in every way possible. "I know you're going through a lot of things right now with Shaundi, and stuff, but Daniel hates me. Like he really hates me. I try to talk to him when no one is around- He just doesn't want to speak to me."

Elijah couldn't find the right words, since he didn't know how it felt about being in a family, or anything like that. His family was brutal to him. His parents cared about his sisters more than they cared about him. They didn't even care if he was alive or not. Reasons why leaving was on his to do list since he was practically born. He never really talked about it though, but somehow the conversation will come up as his sisters claim the Saint's HQ like it's their own. It's his. He's done everything in his power to put the Saint's right back on top. It took a while. It took a lot of heartbreak to get here.

He fought a lot of people. Warren. William. Tanya. Tony. Maero. Jessica. Julius. Dane. Shogo. Jyunichi. Phillipe. Killbane. Cyrus.

The list could go on, but losing Carlos really changed him. He was just a kid. He didn't deserve any of that- He didn't deserve to die, even when he was brave enough to do it. Maero was dead the moment the happened, because Elijah wouldn't let anything else happen to his team, including Shaundi. He didn't want anything to happen to her, because somehow he was in love. He was in love with her. As weird as it might sound, he fell in love with her the moment he tried to impress her in a damn car.

Losing her then would hurt, but now? It was different, because losing her now would break him. Ruin him. Elijah is in love, and he's too over his head to tell her those kind of things. Hell, she pretty much though the so called proposal was a joke- She didn't want a forever with him, so he decided to let it all go. Though, his love for her wouldn't die.

"Daniel will come around," Elijah commented, eyes staring down at the ground, his arm becoming tighter around hers. He patted her hand, a small smile wrapped around his lips. "Daniel has a mom that is not perfect- He should understand that you'll always love him." Elijah softly kissed Darcy's cheek, stopping in his tracks as he realized what he did. "Eh, don't tell anyone I did that. That was kind of weird, and just- Yeah, weird."

Darcy laughed, nodding her head up and down. "Don't worry. I'll just tell Shaundi, and all them."

Elijah's shoulder hit hers, "Don't you dare. I'll put you far into the ground if you do."

Darcy smiled, "She loves you, y'know. So much. She's just stubborn, just like you."

Elijah found himself creating a grin on his lips, letting go of Darcy. He looked up at the HQ, imagining Shaundi. Her beautiful face was just planted in his head- She made him happy. "I didn't know that, but- I need to talk to her." He said, sprinting towards the HQ. He got onto the elevator, his heart banging against his chest as he thought about the love of his life.

Even when the elevator opened, he was nervous. Elijah is never nervous, but Shaundi made him. In a good way.

He was about to call her name, but objects that were all over the place. Broken vases. Broken everything. It was a wreck in her- One thing made him think, "Shaundi!" He yelled, looking around. She better not be dead, or else- He stopped. Looking at the girl that was crying on the couch, her hands buried into her face as her knees were supporting her as a pillow. His heart just stopped as well.

He got closer, "Shaundi."

She didn't answer. She was far into thought to even talk.

He quickly sat down right next to her, looking her feet before a hand fell to her shoulder. She refused to let him touch her as her shoulder flicked away his hand, "Get away from me."

He didn't stop. He didn't want to, "Look at me, gorgeous." Elijah's hand fell to her cheeks, his finger taking care of the sweet warm tears that fell from her eyes.

She sniffled, looking straight at him. "Please, just leave me alone, Eli."

"No, I'm not going to leave you alone."

Shaundi punched him straight in the chest. "Get away from me."

"Stop it."

Shaundi once again punched him, but a little bit harder.

"Shaundi, knock it off."

Shaundi didn't stop though. She kept punching him. One punch after another.

Elijah quickly grabbed her wrists, pinning her down on the couch. He was on top of her, not trying to hurt her. "Just stop."

"Get. Off. Of. Me." Shaundi started to squirm, her legs trying to kick Elijah.

"No, I'm not going to get off of you. You're crying, and I want to know what's up. My girl can't be crying."

She didn't really listen, she just started to kick him more and more. "I'll kill you."

"Riiiiight." Elijah rolled his eyes, his face getting closer to hers. "You tell me, or else."

Again, she didn't listen. She had no reason to. She could care less about it. Her eyes sparkled with tears.

"Okay, you're not going to tell me- How about..." He thought about it for a moment, and as he pressed his lips against hers, she didn't pull away.

She had to tell him, but words weren't exactly her kind of thing.


	10. Love Doesn't Always Stay

Shaundi wrapped her legs around Elijah's hips, who still had her arms pinned to the couch. She wasn't trying to get off of him. This is the feeling she dies for whenever it came to it. He made her feel alive. He still has the power to do that.

He let her go though. Trusting her with all his heart that she wouldn't slap him, or do anything worse to make him feel pain. Even when he just asked her a simple question. He didn't want her to be sad. He didn't want to see her cry for something he has no idea about. He'd kill to know what's wrong, but he doesn't want to pressure her. You should never pressure Shaundi. That would be the biggest mistake of your life.

When he let her go though, she didn't leave. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingernails digging in his skin. He had no problem in feeling it, he just absolutely love the feeling of her against him. The feeling of being okay in life. He loves her. More than anything. Love sucks, right?

Elijah started to drag his lips to her neck, brushing small kisses to the flesh. Slowly, and surely. Then he started to suck. His fingertips started to trail down her clothed thigh, making sure he could feel all of her at the same time.

Small mumbles started to tumble off the tip of her tongue. She shut her eyes, feeling how great Elijah's mouth was. Everything about him was great, of course, but right now, all she wanted was him. Somehow though- She pushed him away, sighing. "I don't think we should do this, Boss."

Elijah sighed as well, his knuckles hitting the edge of the couch to keep his balance as his other hand stayed on her thigh. "Don't think about the negative, Shaundi. I know that we've been through a lot lately, but I feel like we should do this. We should make a new mark on our names- On our relationship, or whatever this really is. I can't really keep up."

She giggled, her fingers running through her hair as she thought about it. What the heck was this even? This didn't feel like a relationship. It didn't even feel like something they'd know- It feels wrong, but at the same time it feels right. It feels like love, but in a weird kind of way. She loves Elijah, and she knows that he loves her as well. They're just way too stubborn for a real relationship. "I know, but-"

"No buts. I love you, and I'll always love you. You're my girl." Elijah smirked, swiping a small kiss on her cheek before she pushed herself on him, straddling him. She just looked into his eyes, not saying anything. Her actions were just saying things. The way her hand pushed through his blonde slicked hair, and the way he looked at her. The way everyone wants a guy to look at them. Love filled his eyes. He was oblivious to the pain and regret that made him feel sick to his stomach every time he looked back at his life. It all went away because of this one girl.

"I love you too, Boss." She smiled sweetly, lettings her lips connect with his once more. He started to play around with her shirt, letting his hand feel against her skin. She started to shake her hips against his, closing her eyes as she let the kiss continue. He had the strength to take off her shirt, a hum running out of his mouth as he threw it to the floor. He didn't really care where it'd end up. He just focused on the kissing.

He started to kiss down her neck, bumping into the red mark he just gave her not even a moment ago. He hit her chest, kissing the top of her twins a couple of times. She giggled softly, her hands taking care of that problem. She took off her bra, letting it set aside her. As he got more access, a big wide smile crossed his lips. He kissed her nipples softly, now sucking. He was seriously sending vibrations of pleasure through her body. She could feel herself getting more turned on by the second. He was always good at this.

"Let's skip the foreplay- I need you." Shaundi gasped as he continued to play around with her breasts, making sure he placed his brand on her. Which he does all the time whenever they have time to themselves. She didn't complain though. The feeling he made her feel was legendary. She couldn't find the right words to talk about the way she felt with him. It's heaven to her.

Elijah closed his eyes, nodding his head. "On it."

He flooded through his pocket, taking out a condom. He put the edge of the wrapper in his mouth as he took a hold of Shaundi. He pushed his pants off. He pulled his shirt off. Throwing them- He just smiled at her.

Shaundi stood up, taking care of her pants as well. When they were all the way naked, it didn't take them two seconds to start kissing each other once again. Elijah ripped open the condom wrapper, spitting out the piece that stayed in his mouth. He grabbed his hard member, slipping it on. He made sure it was completely on before Shaundi started to slid onto it.

She closed her eyes as well, her upper teeth attached to her bottom lip. Letting her take it all in, "Fuck," She moaned out, her head falling back. "Oh my god, I missed this."

The way they made each other feel. It was remarkable. She remembers the first time they had sex. It was after he saved her when Veteran Child kidnapped her, threatening to kill. She knew the Boss would save her. The Boss was always someone that kept his word- He said he'd always protect his crew. She believed him. He was always believable to her. The way they had sex though- It wasn't just sex for her. Sure, she was hooked up on drugs. Surprisingly, she remembers everything he did. The way he made her feel. That's when she started to fall slowly for him, but she knew he'd never go for her. She was not like other girls. She was the opposite. A drug addict. She wouldn't call herself ugly, but yeah, she was different.

But now though? It was all different. In a good way. She loves him.

"Me too." Elijah replied, finding a nice rhythm. He could hear the small moans she was hiding- He just smirked. He liked the way she responded. It was always his favorite. Up and down. Up. Down. Up. Down. That was how it went for them in this moment. As he continued to fuck her, he tried to do it harder and faster. Letting her curse out under her breath as the moans scraped away. "Elijah."

His balls started to tighten, getting heavier by each stroke. He could feel his climax to start rumbling through his body, energy taking over. He quickly grabbed her face, kissing her lips so softly. He picked her up, putting her down on the couch as he was on top of her. Pushing in and out of her, biting down on her lips. Her glossy, beautiful lips. He did it for a few more moments- Making sure she felt the pleasure.

But he knew he needed to take the condom off, and explode. He grasp onto member, sliding the condom off as he stoked himself. He thought he'd just cum on top of her, but she quickly got up, pushing herself on the ground as she grabbed his member. "Wouldn't want to make a mess, huh?"

She popped her lips against his cock, letting Elijah's power just fill her mouth as she sucked and licked away all of his hunger. "Hmm, tastes good."

As she cleaned up, Elijah closed his eyes, his hand pulling on his own hair as he couldn't think straight. God, this girl was everything. She was his everything.

When she finished, she stood up. Smiling, she kissed him once more. He threw her clothes towards her, "I love you."

She laughed, "I love you too, Eli."

When they got dressed, it didn't even take her two seconds before she pushed him on the couch, letting her body lay on top of him. "If we love each other, then we should do something about it."

Elijah sighed, nodding his head. "I want everything with you." He kissed the top of her head, petting her hair down. "Everything. I mean that."

He was telling the truth. She could feel it through her veins whenever he touched her. She wanted the same thing, but keeping a deep dark secret made her stomach turn with fear. Fear of losing him- Telling him was something she wanted.

"Elijah..." Shaundi sighed, sitting up.

He sat up as well, confused at what she was about to say. He didn't want her to have cold feet about the whole everything statement, because that would screw them up once again. "What?"

His hand didn't leave her thigh. She loved that feeling, but she feared he'd let her go. It might happen.

"We didn't lose the baby..." Her eyes started to tear up, her hand tightening around his shoulder. "I did something horrible- I'm so sorry... I wish I can take it back, but- I killed our baby."

Elijah hand started to slid away from her thigh, his eyes turned to the opposite direction. Oh god, his heart. His heart didn't feel right. She knew he'd let her go- It wasn't the best feeling. It felt like a big mess to her. "Elijah... Please talk to me."

He didn't say anything. He clutched his jaw, closing his eyes shut once more. How could he say anything? She kept this from him. How could she do this? He'd give her everything- He GAVE her everything, and he was willing to continue that tradition.

And now everything was messed up. It didn't feel right. He started to feel tears attack his eyes, "Right. You lied to me- Everyone lies."

Shaundi took his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. He couldn't. His head started to dip down, still having his eyes shut. Looking at her would make him feel more pain.

He pushed her off of him, standing up. "Elijah NO! Listen to me! Don't leave." She tried to take his hand, but again he pushed her away.

Leaving her alone.

Look at what you did, Shaundi. You were the one that made him feel- You lost him through the process.


End file.
